Can love survive the antics of politics?

By WND Staff

Presidential debates. Smear campaign commercials. Mud slinging. Is it possible for love to survive politics? Actually it can, but it is up to you!

Jim and Suzette sit on opposite political poles. She likes Kerry and Jim prefers Bush. She puts up Kerry signs and Jim leads the local Republican Party. How do they keep any type of harmony at home? It’s easier than you think. Despite their differences, they admire each other’s convictions and dedication.

What is their secret? It is a powerful new discovery I’ve made about love. If you choose to learn it, then you will find the ability to stop others from controlling how you feel. Imagine having complete control over your emotions no matter how much your mate, friends or family members angrily oppose your important opinions. Imagine controlling how long negative emotions last.

This discovery has increased my own satisfaction and harmony in all my relationships, even with people of differing opinions. Someone can disagree with me about politics, religion or social issues and it will only affect me for a short time. I am 64 years old and have never felt this kind of freedom before!

Here is the discovery: It’s not what others do to us that cause our feelings, words, or actions. It’s what we choose to think about after any experience that determines our emotions and actions – whether good or bad.

Someone might say to you, “He’s a complete crook, liar and jerk. I’ve never known anyone to deceive the nation more than him.” Statements like these can anger anyone and start a serious argument. It can literally ruin your day. These types of discussions used to preoccupy my thoughts for hours. Now I realize that I can decide what I choose to start thinking about after someone upsets me.

No one controls our thinking and we are never a victim unless we choose to be one. This truth was marvelously illustrated through Dr. Victor Frankel years ago while being tortured in a German concentration camp. He once said that the guards could control his physical pain, his food, his isolation, but they would never control his thoughts. After his death and the war had ended, some of his guards reported that Victor Frankle had a happier and freer life than they ever dreamed of achieving!

You have the same freedom of thought. Just stop and listen to your thoughts after an argument or hurtful experience. What’s your mind dwelling on after any negative situation? What you begin thinking about after you are upset determines your emotions in the coming hours or days.

Another way to express this truth is: What a man thinks in his heart, so are his emotions, words and actions. Or whatever thoughts a man sows in his mind, so shall he reap the corresponding emotions, words and actions.

Your feelings are the result of what you think. Feelings are only data revealing your past thoughts. No matter how upset you get with those who disagree with you, you can start thinking whatever you want after an argument or dispute. As soon as you change your thoughts, your emotions can follow in seconds. The bigger the conflict, the more time it usually takes for positive emotions to catch up, but continually focusing on negative thoughts will bring even more negative emotions.

How do I control my own emotions after a bad experience? I run all of my thinking through a grid. This grid allows me to take control of all my thoughts, and thus, all of my emotions, words, or actions. I refuse to allow my past thinking habits or peer-pressure to force me into any thinking pattern.

The thinking grid I run through is as follows: Is what I am thinking true, honorable, right, pure, beautiful, adorable, excellent, or praiseworthy?

The next time you get into a heated debate that has the potential of exploding, try the following four steps.

  • First, before you speak, and while you are still upset with someone, stop and identify what you are feeling.

  • Second, try tracing your negative feelings to what you might have been thinking for the past few hours.

  • Third, turn any negative thoughts to more positive ones as soon as you are capable. For example, if you are upset and think you have been treated unfairly.

  • Fourth, everyone can grow from emotional pain if they look for the good in its experience. We either become bitter or better after hurtful experiences. If we look for how we are becoming better because of emotional pain, we can start thinking positive thoughts. The opposite is true leading to bitterness.

Politics can be exciting and engaging, but it is also a great divider. The important thing is that we understand what issues divide us and in this time of great turmoil in our country and the around the world, it is even more important to know and embrace those common issues that unite us together.

Dr. Gary Smalley will be on Joseph Farah’s radio show today. Find out how you can listen and participate!

Dr. Gary Smalley, known as “the relationship doctor,” is one of the country’s best-known authors and speakers on family relationships. He is the author and coauthor of more than 40 books, including the award-winning, best-selling “Marriage for a Lifetime,” “Secrets to Lasting Love” and “The Language of Love.” His award-winning video series, “Hidden Keys To Loving Relationships” has sold several million copies. His new book, “The DNA of Relationships,” was just released from Tyndale House Publishers.

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