I co-signed for my girlfriend's lease

I co-signed for ex-girlfriend’s lease

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Dear Dave,

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I was dating someone last year that I was expecting to marry. She was having car problems so I co-signed on a lease with her. Now we’ve broken up and she still has the car. So far, she’s made one payment and I’ve made one. We have a forfeiture agreement on the car where, if she didn’t make a payment by the end of the month, I could come get the car.? Her parents have offered to buy her another car and she’s offering to just give me the leased car. She won’t tell me how much her parents are willing to give her for a new car. Our conversations have become pretty confrontational.

I’ve already got a leased truck. Why should I take on these payments as well?

Daryl
Huntsville, Ala.

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Dear Daryl,

Oh, no! You did two no-nos at once – a lease and you co-signed!

I would not take that car as fulfillment of the amount she owes. Morally, she should find out the buy-out amount, sell the car and pay the difference to the lender. If she doesn’t have the money, her parents could pay the difference, since they’re offering to buy her a car anyway.

The reality is that you’re going to have to take control of this situation. If she won’t take care of this right away, you’ll have to take the car, sell it and finance the difference. Let her know that if it comes to that, you’ll be coming back and suing her for whatever amount you had to finance.

The lender will call her once and then they’ll call you sixteen times because they know you’ve got the deep pockets. She’s not good for the money and they know that. That’s why they wouldn’t lend her the money in the first place without you co-signing.

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Don’t let the car be repossessed either. They’ll take the car and sell it for less than wholesale and come sue you for the difference. I know you were just trying to help her, but you’re legally responsible now too.

What a great example of why you should never co-sign for someone, even if it’s someone you think you’re going to marry.

-Dave

Wrong to take 2nd job and be away from family?

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Dear Dave,

My question is more of a moral question than a financial one. My wife and I have gotten ourselves into a little financial mess. I only wish we’d discovered your advice earlier. We purchased a home a couple of years ago and ran up quite a bit of debt making improvements to it. We’ve got about $30,000 in debt – not including the mortgage – of which about $20,000 is on a loan for my wife’s car. I’ve already talked with her about selling her car.

We’re at the point now where we have enough money to make our monthly minimum payments, but we’re making no progress at paying them off and getting out of debt. I think the only way I’m going to make any significant progress on these debts is to get a second job. I’m not afraid of the extra work. I’ll do whatever it takes.

My moral question is if it’s a good idea to do this if the second job will take me away from my family. We have two children and I’m heavily involved in activities with them, such as Cub Scouts and church. I’ll have to give most of that up if I get a second job. I’ve always promised myself to never be one of those fathers who is never home with his kids because he’s working all the time.

Scott
Hartford, Conn.

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Dear Scott,

I totally agree with and share that value system. I don’t want you to be one of those dads who is away from his kids and works all the time with the goal being to simply have more money. In your situation, you would be taking a second job – not for money – but to get your family stable financially. At the moment, you just can’t do that.

Also, I’m not suggesting that working all the time and being away from your kids be a long-term condition, but it can be a short-term solution to help you get out of this situation.

You’ve also told me that two-thirds of your non-mortgage debt is from a vehicle loan. From what I’m seeing here, selling that car and eight months of work at a second job and you can be rid of this debt and back home with your family. What you’re really choosing here is between a car and being with your kids. As a dad, I can make that choice in about thirty seconds – I choose kids over cars.

-Dave

Disclaimer: Questioner’s identities have not been verified by Dave $ays column or this newspaper.