Just when you thought that Oprah announcing she thinks she's a Zulu meant that Africa's financial troubles were a thing of the past, it was "back to the drawing board" on Saturday.
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The Live8 concerts are now history. Some of the performances were good, some were uneven, and some elicited a chuckle. For example, Michael Stipe, singer for REM, looked as though he were in a head-on collision with the Blue Man Group on his way to the venue, and Madonna, predictably, had expletives bleeped out. I'd be more than happy to hear Madonna cuss – it's when she discusses politics when she needs to be bleeped out.
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During backstage interviews, one mantra repeated by some of the performers was, "If we can spend billions of dollars to kill people, then why can't we spend billions of dollars to feed people?"
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At the instant any performer uttered those words, the gathered throng nodded in agreement, finding it one of the most logical statements they've heard since the last time Sting said something. One fact needs to be accounted for, however: Africa is a nation loaded to the brim with warlords, despots and crooked leaders.
The historical lesson from traditional African aid is clear: No matter how much money you send, if the delivery boy is named Bugsy Siegel, chances are little of the money will reach the intended target.
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A few weeks ago, Nigeria's "anti-corruption commission" – a late entry into the "oxymoron of the year" competition – found that past rulers of that country have stolen or misused billions of dollars.
The commission discovered that the amount of money "missing" adds up to all the Western aid given to Africa in four decades.
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For some of the Live8 performers, this provided concrete proof that Western nations give way too little money to Africa. These are people who won't be happy until there are trillions of dollars in aid stolen by crooked leaders and warlords – only then will we know that the West is doing all they can.
In reality, what Africa needs is the same thing that made many of the performers at Live8 super wealthy: a big dose of capitalism. That message was not to be, however, because as soon as tickets for Live8 were released, the natural capitalist impulses of the general public were squashed like a tequila worm under Ted Kennedy's shoe. How?
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Bob Geldof, chief organizer of Live8, was furious that some people were using eBay to sell tickets they got for free. Geldof freaked, and eBay would no longer allow people to sell Live8 tickets on their site. Said Geldof:
I am sick with this. It is a disgrace. It is completely against the interests of the poor. The people who are selling these tickets on websites are miserable wretches who are capitalizing on people's misery.
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"Capitalizing on people's misery"? No, people selling Live8 tickets on eBay were capitalizing on people's desire to see Paul McCartney, Linkin Park and Pink Floyd.
It is often said that people are "capitalizing on poverty" or profiting "on the backs of the poor," but that's not really possible. If this were true, and there were a fortune to be made in poor people, we'd see an awful lot more poverty stricken folks in capitalist nations. Those who say capitalists get rich on the backs of the poor are the same people who believe that Michael Moore's weight problem was caused by an empty refrigerator.
During the Live8 broadcast, everyone involved was adamant that more needs to be done, and not by you picking up the phone and making a pledge. The main goal of Live8 is to get the wealthier nations to give more of their gross national product to starving nations in Africa. The pitch to viewers was, "We're not asking for your money."
Yes they were.
If your country increases outgoing dollars, where's that coming from? The donation fairy? The Live8 people weren't lying, either. They weren't asking you for your money. They were asking your government to take more of your money, and send it somewhere that needs to practice the reason there's so much money to take from the wealthier countries in the first place – capitalism.
A capitalist environment is needed in Africa, but that can only be done after getting rid of despots, warlords and crooked leaders.
Live8 performers asked, "If we can spend billions of dollars to kill people, why can't we spend billions of dollars to feed people?" The sad reality is that sometimes you have to do that first part in order to make the last part possible.