When Hillary Clinton called abortion “tragic,” the reaction from her fellow Democrats was borderline hysterical:

“Could Hillary be turning pro-life?” Charles Schumer wondered.

“How can she do this?” Barbara Boxer demanded.

“If abortions are outlawed, only outlaws will be able to screw around with a Kennedy!” Teddy insisted.

You would think that a true “pro-choicer” would stand firmly behind a woman’s right to abort everything, including her principles.

It’s clear Hillary has charged somebody with softening her image, which must be like being handed a hunk of granite and instructed to “make this into a pillow.” This is sure to give the left a rash, but that’s where Bill Clinton and his tube of Desitin come into play.

Bill is out calming the natives, assuring them that his wife isn’t abandoning her principles, she’s just leaving them at home without a babysitter for a while.

During this, Hillary continues to try to fool moderate to right voters by telling them to believe her instead of their eyes, ears and Senate voting record.

But it’s usually at about this point in the journey that leftists trying to disguise themselves as anything but leftists turns into politics’ answer to the Donner Party crossing, something that has plagued Democrats since they lost congressional control.

Democrats are obviously suffering from, and being treated for, extreme anxiety. I don’t even want to think about how much Paxil you’d have to swallow to make you have faith that Howard Dean was the right man to reel in red-staters.

While Hillary fakes right, Bill Clinton is out there pulling left. Dudley Do-Wrong, the world famous intern Mountie, is actively speaking out, notifying anyone who will listen, and even some who won’t, not to panic – Hillary’s still a leftist.

Every dry cleaner’s worst nightmare spoke to a campus group recently. The speech began with a discussion of issues of the day and ended with a panty raid at Sigma Gamma Rho sorority. Somewhere in the middle of the speech, Bill said Republicans have defined the abortion issue in a way that boxes in Democrats. Clinton also defended Hillary, who recently called abortion a “sad, even tragic choice.”

Bill says the woman he loves isn’t moving to the right at all, and neither is Hillary. Bill questioned the motives and judgment of people who think Hillary is selling out:

“So for example, if you’re a Democrat and you have sort of normal impulses, you’re a sellout, like when Hillary said abortion is a tragedy for virtually everybody who undergoes it, we ought to do all we can to reduce abortion,” Clinton said.

“All of a sudden,” he continued, “the media began asking, ‘Is she selling out? Is she abandoning her principles?’ But if John McCain, who’s pro-life, works with Hillary on global warming, he’s a man of principle moving to the middle.”

No, McCain’s been in bed with more Democrats than a 20-year-veteran Berkeley hooker. Conservatives don’t view that as principle. Clinton and his party lionize McCain as a “man of principle moving to the middle,” because when a Republican moves to the left, that’s “principle.” When a Democrat moves to the right, they’re behind in the polls and engaging in “temporary opinion adjustment.”

When Hillary called abortion a “sad, even tragic choice,” she went the extra mile and added that her husband’s administration “had done a great deal to reduce the number of abortions in the United States.” That must have been back when Bill had to cut down on dating for a while.

Besides, did Hillary really move to the right at all? Of course not. Bill Clinton’s job in this is to fight the impression, within the Democrat Party, that she may be abandoning the left on pet issues, while Hillary’s task is to create, for red staters, the illusion that she’s moving right. Bill Clinton will need to team up with George H.W. Bush again to raise money for America’s recovery from this impending tsunami of B.S.

It’s all smoke and two-way mirrors, though. Hillary will never change her stance on Roe v. Wade. All she did was refer to abortions as “tragic.” In other words, the abortion still happens – the only difference is that Hillary is yelling “sorry!” to the baby as it swirls down the toilet. I hardly think the child would consider that a big step toward political conservatism and family values, and neither will red state voters.

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