A modest proposal for reasonable Muslims

Only the hopelessly na?ve, the same fools who believed Hitler was going to be satisfied with merely gobbling up the Sudetenland, actually believe that the Islamic fascists would all become saints and shepherds if only the U.S. got out of Iraq or out of the Middle East altogether.

If that were all it took, life would be a bowl of cherries. Heck, I'd even be happy to move all the Jews out of Israel and into one of our northern states. If they could turn the desert into a garden, think what they could do with North Dakota. At the very least, Bismarck would have first-rate hospitals, a terrific university, a hell of a state National Guard, more entrepreneurs than the Silicon Valley, and a world-class symphony orchestra.

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In the meantime, under Palestinian stewardship, the land formerly known as Israel would revert to sand and rubble. And the Muslims could get back to doing what they do best; namely, slaughtering one another.

Unfortunately, life's never that simple. The Muslims don't hate us because we're in Iraq, but because we exist. They hate us because we're everything they are not – advanced technologically, democratic, powerful and Judeo-Christian. We don't subjugate and mutilate our women, we don't behead our enemies, and our young men don't blow themselves up in the hope of spending eternity in a celestial brothel.

They despise our music, our movies, our tattoos and body piercing, our TV shows and even the way we dress. OK, there's something to be said for their side, I'll grant you, but not much.

If all the Muslims around the world would move back to the backwaters from whence they came, back to the good old days of the ninth century, I, for one, would happily bid them adieu. But, instead, they're busy causing misery and havoc all over the place – butchering civilians in Bali, London, Madrid, the Philippines, South Africa, New York – all in the name of Allah.

I understand I am tarring people who have never lifted a hand in anger, people who are presumably disgusted by the activities of their co-religionists. But that's not good enough. By and large, even here in America, their silence is deafening. One doesn't hear their religious leaders condemning the terrorists; at most, you hear them whining about racial profiling. Odd that the same religion that put a 2 million dollar price on the head of novelist Salman Rushdie hasn't seen fit to place a reward of even a plugged nickel on the head of Osama bin Laden.

Fourteen-hundred years ago, Muhammad, founder of Islam, converted at the point of a sword, and I'm afraid that his followers got the message. Islam, in spite of modern-day spin, does not mean peace. The word actually translates to submission or surrender.

Assuming there are decent Muslims in the world, people who are not a disgrace to the human race, I have a suggestion to offer. Rather than be shamed every hour of every day by the revolting barbarism of your fellow Islamics, why not forsake Muhammad for a religious leader who not only preached, but practiced, kindness, charity and love? Why not do unto others as you would have others do unto you, and convert … to Christianity?