One presumes the media wore thin just standing around kicking up dust in Crawford. You could hear the relief in their howling glee when televangelist Pat Robertson said Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez had to go. Cindy Sheehan is stale. How many ways can you report on a puppet even when it is your own? But here was a story they could sink their teeth in … poor, starved jackals. The man is a menace according to the leftist yakkers – Robertson, that is, not brutal Marxist dictator Chavez.

Now we have reports that Robertson, founder of the Christian Broadcast Network, is backing away from his call for Chavez’ assassination. Say it ain’t so, Pat. Don’t back down now – turn into the pack, face them dead-on.

Once you have the media’s full attention, say it again – and give them more besides. They will report your “loose canon” comments with journalistic ecstasy before they realize their mistake. By then the public will have heard some gems of logic that the politically correct-mad world of the press has suppressed.

Yes, Chavez needs to go. He shares more than an oil-based economy with Muslim leaders. You know that he signed a condemnation of Israel for their occupation of “Palestinian” territory. You know Chavez has imported militant Lebanese Muslims by the thousands. Did you mention that the Venezuelan Air Force flew aid to the Taliban and Chavez starved his people in order to send money to al-Qaida?

Be sure to add that Margarita Island is a hotbed of terrorist operations. You were right when you said, “We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”

So please, don’t tell us you were misunderstood, Pat. Chavez need not be assassinated, however. That would merely make him a martyr to Marxists and jihadists. What Chavez needs is an education about where old dictators go when they retire.

It’s only necessary for special ops forces to extract Chavez and take him on midnight ride to Iraq. Deposit Chavez in Saddam’s fragrant hidey-hole for a week or two. Then yank him up, snap a few photos of a matted-hair, blubbering Chavez for all the world to see, and take the newly educated Chavez home to his palace and his oil empire and see if he doesn’t settle down a bit.

And, Pat, go ahead and admit that you admire Australian treasurer, Peter Costello, for saying the obvious. Costello was speaking at the same time that you made your Chavez remark. On Australian television, Costello said, “If you can’t agree with parliamentary law, independent courts, democracy and would prefer Sharia law and have the opportunity to go to another country which practices it, perhaps, then, that’s a better option.” In case the politically correct press might misunderstand, Costello clarified his meaning: “If those are not your values, if you want a country which has Sharia law or a theocratic state, then Australia is not for you.”

Now that’s saying something. But wait, Costello let Education Minister Brendan Nelson mop up. “Basically,” said Nelson, “people who don’t want to be Australians, and they don’t want to live by Australian values and understand them, well then they can basically clear off,” he said. “Clear-off” is unambiguous, don’t you think, Pat? No misunderstanding possible. There is a future in clear-speak for the courageous.

Some “cheese-eating appeasement monkey” (I stole that line from someone who has had a belly full of Jacques Chirac) is sure to ask why you are so intolerant of other religions. That’s easy. Tell them that all religions are not equal. Then clarify, “All people have a right to religious freedom, we do not believe in religion by the sword.” Then repeat, “But that does not make all religions equal in truth or validity. Some are heresies.”

While they gape at you in speechless shock add, “Islam is Muhammad’s synthesis of Judaism and the Christian heresy of Arianism. Arianism denies the divinity of Jesus. It holds that Jesus is a prophet, but not God. That is what Islam teaches today.

And while you are practicing clear-speak, try this one on the press who will by now be camped outside your door in hopes you will make another startling statement that they can ridicule: “The world hates a vacuum and if the United States is not the superpower, guess who will be?”

Once you have their full attention, remind them that a map of the world is a handy tool. They come in all sorts of varieties. You can get a map of populations, a map of natural resources, a map of geo-political alliances, a map of known oil deposits, even a map of the ancient silk route from Europe to Kashgar, China, where, it’s rumored, bin Laden hides among the Muslim population. (Yes, Virginia, there was “globalization” a thousand years ago.)

Tease them with hints like, “Guess who had a 22-year lease with Saddam to explore the Al Ahdab oil fields in southern Iraq? And were in negotiation for the coveted Halfayah field with a projected output of 300,000 barrels per day?” And remind them, too, that this same nation had supplied Saddam with offensive weaponry since 1981, including missile technology. Worse, this nation trained both the Taliban and al-Qaida.

If the press did its job rather than coast for a month on Cindy Sheehan, they might know that this is the nation that ignored U.N. sanctions in order to secure a $70 billion oil and gas deal with Iran – an Iran now loaded with money to pursue its nuclear ambitions. Ignore their quizzical looks and continue to say what needs to be said. Pat, go ahead, tell them that this is a nation that feigns friendship and commerce with terrorists so that it can harness Islamic hatred of the West to use for its own purpose.

Quietly, this nation has built new warships carrying long-range cruise missiles, and new submarines. It whirls its satellites in space in partnership with Brazil, a country capable of nuclear weapons. When the press can’t stand the suspense a moment longer, whisper your final hint, make them lean forward to hear you say, “This nation controls the Panama Canal.” And for those in the back who did not hear, add, “And Hugo Chavez wants to divert oil from the United States to this nation.”

When a bright young reporter sneers, “So what if China becomes a superpower?” you tell her Pat. Speak plainly and slowly: “If you don’t think it matters, Miss, I’d be delighted to buy you a ticket to Beijing. One way.”

Mary Jo Anderson is a contributing reporter to WorldNetDaily.

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