Dems call a doctor:
Can the patient be saved?

Ever since Dr. Howard Dean's primal scream in Ohio during the 2004 primary elections, the Democratic Party seems to have embarked on some sort of a long-term, group-therapy session that they insist be broadcast on the nightly national news.

Since most newsrooms these days are almost entirely Democrat (diversity of opinion? Yeah, sure. We got white liberals, black liberals, transgendered liberals ...) this has been reported as an entirely normal, natural and healthy event.

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Indeed, Al Gore and John Kerry, the dynamic Democratic duo from the last two election cycles, are still rolled up in the fetal position, rocking on the floor, randomly babbling, screaming or whining whenever a Republican or Independent voter happens by.

These therapy sessions seem to be conducted by the likes of Al (OK, we'll give the money back to the kids) Franken, Michael (I really don't own Halliburton) Moore, BaBa (how dare you photograph my mansion) Streisand, and a host of lesser known, and yes, less important (although not to themselves) leftists.

This collective therapy session has given us such inspired public policy spinoffs as, "Yes, we're fighting the war against terror in Iraq instead of our shopping malls. Yes, the Iraqi people are free and Saddam is on trial for war crimes. Yes, the bad guys are locked up in CIA prisons where they are singing like canaries. Yes, there have been free elections in Iraq. But now we've got to quit! Don't you understand? Do it to honor the soldiers who have already died. Set a date for withdrawal so the terrorists will know how long to hold on!"

Most of us understand a "bad hair day." But, boys and girls, it's been six years. Eventually the therapy session ends, the doctor has to be paid, and everyone has to go back out into the world. The ballots in Florida have been counted. And counted. And counted again. And the majority went to Bush. The ballots in Ohio have been counted. Bush won, by several hundred thousand. Even the best criminal minds in the legal profession didn't think they could help you "take back" Ohio.

Get a clue. The American people are trying to tell you something. They don't want the "religion of peace" blowing up shopping malls, Starbucks, or McDonalds. They don't want to buy into useless, feel-good internationalist power grabs like Kyoto, whose signatories now admit is symbolic, will do nothing for the Earth, and will cripple their economies.

They don't want to turn over our government to a handful of judicial activists who find heretofore undiscovered "rights" in the constitutions of other nations and apply them here – all so they can feel good about themselves at the next Washington, D.C., cocktail party. "Oh, I think your last decision on intergalactic alien equality based on a reading of the fragments of Alpha Centauri's orbiting constitution as reflected into the Hubble space telescope just as the last planet imploded was brilliant, Ms. Ginsberg! I'm so glad we didn't appoint another neanderthal originalist like Thomas or Scalia who might actually consult our Constitution!"

Americans don't want to leave poor children behind at school, while the teachers' unions rake in ever fatter dues, which they apply to the next election cycle. Most Americans don't want to ride mass transit, where they will be subjected to yet another public therapy session by disillusioned, dysfunctional Democrats rearranging their dirty laundry while the ship of state vanishes in a turbulent sea of self-indulgent, self-important, unsustainable, feel-good rhetoric.

In fact, the Democrats' real problem is that they are playing to the wrong audience. They seem to care only about what their fellow leftists think, which – since they don't – results in an unending chorus of "high fives" for whatever inanity is spewed out so long as it is wrapped in a sufficient bundling of Bush hatred as a disguise.

Without Bush to hate, it is unlikely that the Democrats could agree among themselves on anything. Their big tent is not nearly as large as it is loud. As soon as Bush rides off into the Texas sunset, it's going to collapse on top of them. This will be referred to as a great national disaster – an "act of God" – which it may well be.

So, while under normal circumstances it would be a good omen that the Democrats elected Dr. Dean to head their party, I'm afraid that he's not the kind of doctor who can do the Democrats any good.