Oh, fudge.

It’s not every day in America that a newsmaker gets a colorful nickname associated with him or her. It’s even harder for newsmakers to get two catchy monikers.

But New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin, heretofore known as “School-bus Nagin” for failing to use his own buses to save people in advance of Hurricane Katrina, has beaten the odds with his tasty yet distasteful description of New Orleans as a “chocolate” city.

Mayor Chocolate Nagin

Thus, I hereby dub him, “Mayor Chocolate Nagin, America’s flavorite racist.”

In case you missed the dishonorable mayor’s comment yesterday – on Martin Luther King Day no less – Nagin, who is black, promised the Crescent City would become “chocolate” once again.

“We ask black people … It’s time for us to come together. It’s time for us to rebuild New Orleans – the one that should be a chocolate New Orleans,” the mayor said. “And I don’t care what people are saying in Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day.”

He also noted: “This city will be a majority African-American city. It’s the way God wants it to be. You can’t have New Orleans no other way. It wouldn’t be New Orleans.”

All bad grammar aside, I’m stunned by these quintessentially racist remarks.

Is it somewhere written in the city charter that New Orleans can only be New Orleans if most of its residents are black? Somehow, I suspect such a requirement is lacking.

Can you imagine if the mayor happened to be white, and said he wanted a chocolate city? People would be turning beet red (not chocolate) with outrage and sheer contempt. Does the word lynching come to mind?

What if the mayor of Miami, for instance, suggested his city become more vanilla? I bet that would spice things up a bit among the large Cuban and Haitian populace.

Mayor’s brilliant non-evacuation plan during Hurricane Katrina led to him becoming known as “School-bus Nagin.”

Perhaps Chocolate Nagin never really heard or understood MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech where a person’s color is supposed to be a non-factor.

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” said King.

Perhaps Chocolate Nagin has never read the Bible, as I just can’t seem to find any verse that even hints New Orleans should have a majority of black citizens there, despite his claim God wants it to be that way.

Chocolate Nagin says, “You can’t have New Orleans no other way.”

Well, maybe you can. How about the novel concept of having the city filled with Americans, no matter what color or flavor they are? They could be chocolate, vanilla, coffee, salsa, teriyaki or tutti-fruity for that matter. Heck, I thought there was already a Cajun taste to the region.

And how about we all just stop this divisive idiocy of fretting over who is black and who is white? We’re all Americans. Get with the program.

Maybe the mayor will get a bit more specific today and let us know if he prefers his city to be more milk chocolate or dark chocolate. One look in the mirror might have him realize there’s already one too many chocolate nutcakes in town.

Finally, Chocolate Nagin has not provided a detailed plan on how to transport back to New Orleans the large number of black citizens scattered across the U.S. in the wake of Katrina.

I have a suggestion for him.

School buses.

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