Ask any member of Congress who is pro massive government regulation why they strive for control of corporate entities, and you’ll often get some variation of the default Hillary response: “For the children.”

“For the children” is “the common good” prettied up in U.S. politico drag, and if there’s one thing history teaches us – other than don’t hitch a ride with a Kennedy – it’s that the “common good” is almost always decided by the uncommonly bad.

Politicians say things are “for the children” because “for the labor unions,” “for money,” or “for political power” just sounds way too, well, honest. In keeping with tradition, the government – led by Ted Kennedy – would like nothing more than to find a way to completely regulate Wal-Mart, the retail giant that has become the corporate Legion of Doom to the government’s Stupor-Friends.

The odds of government getting their hands further in the Wal-Mart pie just went up, with the help of Wal-Mart, no less.

Last month, Wal-Mart was ordered by the Massachusetts pharmacy board to begin selling “Plan B,” known as the “morning-after pill,” after three women filed a complaint against the company. “Plan B” prevents ovulation and fertilization, provided it is taken within three days of the post-coital cigarette.

Just for the record, the pill got the name “Plan B” because “Plan A,” which is “let’s just kiss,” usually goes horribly awry.

A mere couple of weeks after being ordered to sell “Plan B” in their Massachusetts pharmacies, Wal-Mart announced that they would begin stocking the drug in all of their 4,000 pharmacies in the United States.

Ron Chumiuk, vice president of Pharmacy for Wal-Mart, said in a statement, “We expected more states to require us to sell emergency contraceptives in the months ahead.”

People upset at Wal-Mart – for everything from “not providing living wages” and inadequate health-care offerings, to harsh criticism for refusal to sell certain books and CDs of DVDs – often present us with a most interesting dichotomy of positions. There are people out there organizing Wal-Mart boycotts who nonetheless have a more than casual preoccupation with what is or isn’t sold there, and for how much. That’s kind of like the group that called for a boycott of grapes a while back complaining about the bitter taste of the juice.

More often than not, those who most loudly complain that Wal-Mart buys stock from foreign nations are U.N.-hugging, “it takes a village,” one-world government types. It sure is wonderful to see how labor-union demands and any of the other dozens of special-interest groups in operation against Wal-Mart can drive even a staunch globalist to embrace a fierce foam-at-the-mouth nationalism.

Among those who consistently chastise Wal-Mart for “not providing affordable health care” is one of the reasons health care costs so much: Ted Kennedy. Last year, Sen. Kennedy even wrote something called “The Ten Commandments for Wal-Mart.”

Kennedy has spent an inordinate amount of his life violating any number of the actual Ten Commandments, along with eliminating biblical principles from public debate, and all of a sudden he stumbles down from the mountaintop carrying a stone tablet like some kind of gin-blossomed Wal-Mart Moses?

We need constant reminders of where the “we’re from the government and we’re here to make your life better” or “the union could fix this” mentality can lead workers, besides the unemployment line. Last summer, in Henderson, Nev., a labor union hired some temporary workers to picket outside a Wal-Mart. The picketers were hired to walk outside the store and protest the low wages, lack of benefits, and lousy working conditions Wal-Mart provides to its employees.

Oh, one more thing. The union who hired the picketers paid them less than the starting wage Wal-Mart pays, gave them no benefits, and made them picket in 104-degree heat – all to protest the low wages, zero benefits, and lousy working conditions inside the air conditioned store.

If the Plan B announcement is an early sign that Wal-Mart will begin anticipating possible government edicts and implementing them before being ordered to do so, Kennedy and friends are going to have a field day with them, and won’t stop tirelessly working to improve the lives of Wal-Mart employees until the company goes out of business.

Will it be long before a group of pregnant women sue Wal-Mart for its past failure to carry the emergency contraceptive?

I’ll go out on a limb and predict that Wal-Mart, despite having agreed to carry Plan B at all locations, will nonetheless be the first corporation ordered to pay collective child support. Why? “For the children,” of course.

Note: Read our discussion guidelines before commenting.