Please pass the salsa!

Last night, my wife and I had one of the worst experiences of our lives. In the middle of the night, five men broke into our home and made themselves at home. When I woke up this morning they had formed protest in my front yard, demanding to stay, suggesting I offer them a "Home Guest Worker" program.

In fact, they have now found an American Civil Liberties Union attorney and a willing, vote-hungry Congress to immediately overturn all state and federal laws against breaking and entering. The home invaders say they are willing to pay a $1,000 fine. They want to work for the next six years – as long as I allow them to stay in my home. At the end of the six years, they want me to make them permanent members of my family. Oh ... and they also want their names put on the title to the home. The home my wife and I worked and sacrificed for over the last 30 years.

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I have tried to reason with them and politely ask them to leave and have attempted to make it clear we do not want them in our home unless we had invited them in. However, they keep chanting this line that all they are trying to do is make a better life for their families and children that they hope to birth while in my home uninvited.

They have been eating my food, using my medicine, and have taken over my library and television trying to get a quick education. I really hadn't figured these extra costs into my monthly budget, so I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for it all. Maybe I can get my neighbors to kick in a few bucks of their hard-earned money?

Welcome to the New America. The America where rule of law is no longer applicable. The America where illegal immigrants who claim they want to be part of the "democratic" process of America, yet drape themselves in Mexican flags, gather in mass disrupting the very country they claim to love. Apparently they have mistaken mob rule for democratic process. They have elected to ignore the Constitution that thousands before them have fought, bled and died for.

Let the chaos begin. We have clearly turned the asylum over to the patients.

Oh, by the way – seeing as the fellows who broke in have refused to leave, "Hector, please pass the salsa."