Who 'killed' Kenny the fraudmeister?

My first reaction to early headlines screaming out the so-called "death" of convicted corporate mega-crook and White House crony Ken Lay – supposedly "from a massive coronary" – was, Cripes, another celebrity cocaine casualty?

And then things start to get interesting.

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Politically savvy "Callen Darragh," not his real name, the Washington, D.C., speech-writer/litterateur, sends me a hurried email, 10:46 a.m. July 5, citing "CNN Breaking News: Enron founder Ken Lay has died in Aspen, Colo., a spokesman for Lay's family said today. Lay was awaiting sentencing after being found guilty of conspiracy and fraud." "Darragh's" comment: "This is really creepy. I mean, is it suicide? The fact they aren't divulging any details indicates some kind of skullduggery."

Shortly thereafter, "Darragh" forwards me this subtextual masterpiece from Greg Dempsey's Progressive list-serv:

• "Apparently, Mr. Lay's heart simply 'gave out.' KEN LAY IS DEAD. THERE ARE PILLS THAT PREVENT HEART ATTACKS. BUT ARE THERE PILLS THAT INDUCE THEM? Of course there are – three different varieties, in fact. OMIGOD – THEY KILLED KENNY ... OR DID THEY? Will Mr. Lay now take secrets with him to the grave – secrets involving old friends from Texas? In the end, Kenneth Lay received no pardon. Might he, as a consequence, have eventually spilled his guts in prison or before his sentencing?

• "Spies take poison pills when discovered, eliminating any possibility they could be interrogated for the enemy's gain. Such pills, undetectable in an ordinary autopsy, may also be administered to silence someone who knows too much and may have a motivation, revenge perhaps, for telling all. Such a pity, really. If Ken Lay had a story to tell, now it will never be told. I wonder if Jeff Skilling has stories to tell, and how uneasy he may be feeling this morning? Satan has taken one of his children home."

Soon, skepticism and suspicion begin proliferating, even among ordinary Americans. Visionary thinker "Estrella Glass-Cruz," not her real name, weighs in from the West Coast with some spine-tingling spin on the "massive chicanery" involved in this spurious tragedy:

• "Ken Lay is not dead – he's ... already in some foreign country ... Fiji or Bombay. .... Someone else is dead ... Some unknown, forgotten skid row bum is dead, of murder. Someone who looked like Lay. Fershure. They have a fake body there. Lay was 64, with no history of heart disease and he did not have a heart attack on his vacation. He was probably intentionally 'vacationing' somewhere where George Bush had a friendly coroner! And now, freed from danger of going to prison, plastic surgery will allow him to walk about the piers and beaches of some third-world country without being recognized or reported by tourists. ...

• "In one of the most carefully planned escapes in shadow government history, Lay disappeared, probably within the past 24 hours [of his reported 'death']. ... His wife would soon be joining him. ... Obviously, there was an escape house on an island somewhere; such is commonplace enough among the ultra-posh. And with all the resources of the Land of the Free to protect them, freedom is available. He will get a toupee and a goatee and have it dyed brown, and he'll get his bulbous nose taken down to Sally Field pertness. His hanging weasel eyes will be lifted on the sides to become slanted upward. His wrinkles will be removed. George Bush will pay for the surgery. He will come out of it looking like a young Peter O'Toole. ...

• "News prediction: 'They,' that is, the Shadow Gov, will float a story that proves the validity of the corpse – [saying] 'It really is Ken', with DNA or fingerprints – affirming the question. ..."

And then, "Darragh" hits me again with a subsequent Greg Dempsey e-missive:

• "Is 'the smartest guy in the room' still the smartest guy – just not in the room? IS KEN LAY ALIVE? Strange. Ken Lay never had heart problems before. He exercised regularly and was thought of by friends (apparently Ken Lay had friends) and acquaintances to be very healthy. Perhaps he's still healthy. Bush hopes Ken Lay's heart is right with the Lord. What Lord? The Lord of Darkness? And what heart? The heart that did – or didn't – stop?

• "In the eyes of the law, the conviction of Ken Lay should now be dismissed: Ken Lay is not guilty, since he never went through the system. So goes the argument which will now prevail, and Ken Lay's assets will be protected from his victims, who deserve it all. This would have only been Round 1. Now we find out that Kenny boy – in skipping either to eternity or perhaps somewhere closer, say on the Mediterranean beachfront – has frozen all outstanding Enron money.

• "Collection is the only real justice here, and now it will never be served. All Enron class-action suits have now been effectively sidelined. ... The contempt for we commoners displayed by oligarchs like Ken Lay is all too often energized by the support of thugs like George Bush. Maybe, just maybe, that support continues to this day – another hoax. There will be no coffin to check. The family has requested a private cremation.

• "Would the president who faked 9-11 also help Ken Lay fake his own death? For a percentage? All this money, this Enron money, could be transferred into Swiss bank accounts – slowly, over time – staggered for three years or so. Ken Lay would be 67 then, at last enjoying his – and everyone else's – Enron retirement funds."

Suddenly, speculation abounds in a field day for cynics. Indeed, a subsequent Houston Chronicle front page heralds the appalling revelation, "Lay's criminal record [to] vanish with his death." Shocking, eh? While the Associated Press trumpets, "Lay's death to erase his convictions ... legally his 'slate wiped clean.'" And from the New York Post, this squeal of outrage: "Lay him low: Enron's chief crook ducks Big House by dropping dead."

Satan has taken one of his children home, indeed.

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