Lady History slips into the driver's seat

I once met a prominent Christian who described his conversion in an unusual manner: "I was going through medical school, driving down the highway of life, telling Jesus all the great things we were going to do. Then I heard the words, 'Pull over and stop the car, Dave. I want to drive.'"

The politically correct crowd has treated Lady History in a similar fashion. In the words of an earlier age, she's been tarted up and made to look the fool. The modern crowd has driven around with her prominently displayed in the passenger's seat. And they've told everyone who will listen what a harmless old girl she is, while she spouted the names and dates of PC events to entertain school children.

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In case you haven't noticed, at the last rest stop along the interstate Lady History slipped behind the wheel. The world is about to learn that she is not the harmless old girl they thought she was. Now that she's in the driver's seat, the world she wanted to describe is about to come to life. The bumper sticker "Sit down, shut up and hang on" comes to mind.

Today's politicians haven't had to pay much attention to Lady History. They assume she's long ago been domesticated and will respect the thin veneer of civilization they've worked so hard to cultivate. In the parlance of today, one might say they've "dissed" her. But now she's got a full tank of gas and a trunk-full of loose nukes, so she's sure to get more attention on the road from 9-11.

Had today's leaders listened to Lady History's remembrances, they might have avoided what is coming. Instead, they thought the loud and pressing voices of today's pressure groups were all that mattered. That and the next election. The squeaky wheel got the grease; now the rest of us get the shaft.

The press, for all its educational ambitions, couldn't be bothered with Lady History either. After all, it was yesterday's news. It all happened a long time ago, in a place far, far away. And as the Times will be happy to tell us, the news is all about today. How government is infringing the rights of the terrorists, torturing them by putting panties on their heads to gain information that could save the lives of American soldiers.

Meanwhile, the same reporters who are happy to reveal our defenses against the terrorist onslaught don't seem to be able to get four out of two plus two. While their colleagues have their heads sawed off with rusty knives and the video makes Internet prime time, they've convinced themselves that it's all Bush's fault – the Christians lit the fires, and that's why Rome is burning.

They are, in a word, too stupid to continue to exist. They seem to lack even the basic instinct nature gives an animal to stay alive. "Bush is the terrorist and America is the enemy."

Not only do they say it – they act on it. By revealing our wiretapping defenses to the terrorists, they have neutered the NSA and enabled al-Qaida to go to ground. This has deprived us of clues about where their shiny new nukes will be placed (if they are not already). Nice work, media boys and girls. But then I guess like a pretty woman walking down the wrong street at the wrong time of day, America had it coming. That is, after all, what you've been telling us for most of your pathetic little careers.

So, what to do now? Well, if you're a congressman or senator, start thinking about how the rest of us will elect a new Congress and where it will meet after the nuke goes off near the Capitol. Don't count on airline passengers and a Pennsylvania field to bail you out this time.

And it might be nice to know who will lead the country while the election's in progress. Al-Qaida has our line of succession all planned out, and a new legal system to boot; I just doubt many Americans will appreciate it.

You might also give some thought to what will replace New York City as a financial center. Love it or hate it, we've still got to move money around the country and probably don't want to use stagecoaches to do it.

What about the rest of us? Well, that's where you find out just how thin the veneer of civilization gets. My advice is don't expect too much when you dial 911.

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