It’s been a stated goal of many Democrats to put an end to years and years of voter disenfranchisement that has plagued the party and caused more sleepless nights than the words “tax cuts.” Disenfranchisement is often the accusation cast when a Republican wins, but what happens when the GOP loses? With big Democratic wins last Tuesday, we found out, and I’m happy to report that the Democrats’ goal to end disenfranchisement seems to have been reached. Wow, that was easy.
We know that when one refers to a “disenfranchised voter,” this is often either somebody who couldn’t negotiate a simple ballot or fell for a joke about Democrats voting on Wednesday instead of Tuesday, a mythical entity created in an attempt to steal an election, or a person who can’t stop playing XBox in their parents’ basement long enough to be enticed to go and vote for a Democrat. A political party that goes out of its way to demonstrate that their core followers are often proud owners of Colorado swampland, the Brooklyn Bridge, and other stuff from the back of Mr. Haney’s truck, is suspect at best.
But then something amazing happened. After years and years of accusations of flat out vote fraud, unfair and confusing ballots, voter intimidation, hanging and dimpled chads, and Diebold, Inc. bias, the problems appear to have been suddenly fixed. This was a healing of Biblical proportions. There were very few reported problems after this year’s election, at least in relation to previous years.
Not only has disenfranchisement seemed to have fallen from the map in the United States, but, so giving are the Democrats, that they’ve helped put a temporary stop to the disenfranchisement of the entire world – at least the totalitarian and terrorist corners. Often when “hawkish” Republicans win, threats and anger fly from certain areas of the world. This time around, terrorists, despots and tinpot wing nuts are as happy as Reverend Haggard at Chippendales.
A couple of recent news headlines say it all:
The list goes on in similar fashion around the globe.
Many on the left view the Bastille Day-esque celebration that is being staged by rogue dictators, terrorists and totalitarian regime leaders in response to the big Democrat victory and the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld with a level of naivete not seen since the woman helped the creepy guy load the chair into his van in “Silence of the Lambs.”
Terrorists and despots are doing the same thing with some Democrats. “Could you be a sweetheart and help us get this couch in the van. You get in first… I’ll take the heavy end.” ::whap!:: The problem is that we’re all along for this most uncomfortable ride.
Ask many on the American left about the election being hailed by people with “political disagreements” with U.S. policy (i.e. terrorists), and you’ll be told that it’s nothing more than a terrific “bringing the world together” moment of opportunity – a slice of harmonic convergence between East and West out of the otherwise bitter pie of Bush’s illegal and immoral war that has polarized the nation and the world.
One can only hope that those who think Democrat victories, and the end of global disenfranchisement thereof, will open up new dialog and friendly back-slapping with Iran, North Korea, al-Qaida, and all the rest, will realize the danger in this belief before we’re all in a pit being told, “It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.”
Back at the Capitol, it’s “happy days are here again” for the Democrats. Voters both in America and abroad have been provided with a voice in Washington, D.C. and freed from the chains of disenfranchisement. Not only that, but Nancy Pelosi is taking the gavel from Dennis Hastert, Harry Reid is set to be Senate majority leader, and Henry Waxman, the Irwin Mainway of the left, will conduct investigations into the Bush administration up to and including ruling that choosing “boxers over briefs” is an indictable offense.
Couple that with the fact that President Bush’s efforts to get court nominees through the Senate will be about as easy as pushing a bowling ball through a sink drain, and we’re witnessing flat-out glee in D.C. and parts of the globe.
Whatever happens, the world can rest easy that all votes were counted this time. Or, were they? Republicans?