Whoopi Goldberg

Comedienne Whoopi Goldberg, who was fired by Slim-Fast and shunned by Democrats following a bawdy, foul-mouthed anti-Bush routine at a fundraiser for John Kerry in 2004, has recovered nicely from the fallout and has authored a new children’s book on manners.

In promoting her “Big Book of Manners,” Goldberg bemoans permissive parenting and the result – kids who don’t know how to behave in public.

“Parental overseeing has been on the wane,” she told the Associated Press. “I want to go up to parents and say, ‘Do you see that your child has no clue, that they’re out of step?'”

Goldberg holds herself up as a model of politeness.

“My mom, the community, taught me manners,” she says. “Sometimes I had to remind myself, but it was the culture.”

Apparently forgetting the brouhaha created July 22, 2004, at the Radio City Music Hall fundraiser, Goldberg says she tried to be the picture of politeness and good manners. She says that when she forgets and offends someone, she goes back to apologize.

Yet, she never apologized for the crude anti-Bush monologue – which was described as a drunken tirade by some eyewitnesses.

According to her own account of the event, she walked on stage with a bottle of wine in her hand.

“The concert organizers had asked to see my material beforehand, but I Xeroxed my behind and I folded it up in an envelope and I sent it back with a big kiss mark,” she said. “Because we’re Democrats. We don’t do that. We’re not afraid to laugh. That’s the other people.”

She admits being impressed by people who disagree with her politics but are polite to her nonetheless.

“A lot of people don’t like a lot of things I’ve done but they seem to be respectful,” she said. “People seem to trust me. They know I’m thoughtful even if they don’t agree with me.”

She continued, reading from the wine bottle: “When Bush comes to shove, don’t whine. Vote Kerry. And that’s why I’m here tonight. Because I love bush. But someone’s giving bush a bad name. Someone has tarnished name of bush. Someone has waged war, someone has deliberately misled the country, someone has attempted to amend the Constitution, all in the name of bush. The bush I know and cherish would never do such things. My bush is smarter than that. And if my bush is smarter than that, you can understand just how dumb I think that other bush is. And anyone who would wave to Stevie Wonder is not fully there. I will do whatever it takes to restore bush to its rightful place and that ain’t in the White House. Vote your heart and mind and keep bush where it belongs,” she explained, pointing at her crotch.

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