QUESTION: Who is the world's greatest optimist?
ANSWER: Anybody who believes that most Democratic presidential candidates are capable of "saying a few words."
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Those election-year presidential primaries begin in just 11 months – so be warned! These long-winded and rule-defying Democrat speeches at the Washington Hilton were no doubt prefaces of rhetorical excesses to come.
At the Democratic National Committee's winter meeting in Washington, Chairman Howard Dean announced the rules as follows: "Each candidate has been given seven minutes to speak. An official timekeeper will hold up warning signs and 'time's up' signs."
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Then, Chairman Dean made a terrible mistake. He added: "After ten minutes …" (an admission that he fully expected his seven-minute-rule to be ignored – and thus an encouragement to do so). "After ten minutes, wild gesticulations will take place!"
That absolutely mind-boggling announcement actually encouraged these much more-like-Huey Long-than-Demosthenesian Democrats to go considerably beyond the Howard Dean seven-minute limit.
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Chris Dodd: 20 minutes and 15 seconds.
John Edwards: 17 minutes and 40 seconds.
Hillary Clinton: 16 minutes and 12 seconds.
Barack Obama: 15 minutes and 30 seconds.
The following day, former U.S. Sen. Mike Gravel of Alaska further darkened his already dark horse status. He went on for 25 minutes – an 18-minute violation of Chairman Dean's time limit.
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The Washington Post reported that the closest to the Dean time limit was Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich (12:38) – "But this was probably because the audience treated his appearance as a chance to start conversations or visit the restrooms."
That devastating notation will almost certainly be no campaigning deterrent to "Ding Dong Dennis," who will, as he did in 2004, continue cluttering the campaign trail with unintended comic relief.
Chairman Dean also ruled that each candidate could publicly display up to 100 campaign signs.
The Hillary Clintonistas responded to this rule by raising some 300 signs.
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All this raises the question: If there is this much Democrat indiscipline now in defying Dean, can you imagine how wild it will be next summer at the Democratic National Convention?
I mean, consider the fact that Kucinich actually stated: "My inauguration as president" (of what? many must have asked) as well as mentioning his wife, Elizabeth, in what the Post tallied as seven times.
Hillary announced: "I'm here to start a conversation with our country."
That disclosure led two of the audience to respond. And they loudly heckled her about Iraq. This led her to use the main mic's power to drown them out with her speaking louder, as she went on talking for what the Post noted was "220 percent of her allotted time," in a story they headlined: "Democrats control the hill, but not themselves."
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