It doesn’t seem fair that legislators are focusing solely on adolescent girls to try to slow the spread the sexually transmitted disease human papillomavirus.

HPV causes cervical cancer, and a new vaccine will stop the growth of the two strains of HPV (of over 100 total) responsible for 70 percent of that cancer.

Lawmakers around the country are introducing legislation faster than sperm swims mandating that 11- and 12-year-old girls be injected with the three-dose HPV vaccination regimen (well, maybe six, or more, since the vaccine has only been proven to last four years).

This legislative thrust comes at the behest of a group called Women in Government, a nonprofit organization that coincidentally receives large donations – which it refuses to disclose – from Merck and GlaxoSmithKline, the two pharmaceutical companies making the HPV vaccine.

While it was reported yesterday that Merck is backing off its lobbying campaign, at least 30 states are considering mandatory-vaccine legislation.

But the feminist in me says this mandated vaccine is patriarchal. After all, women already bear almost all the responsibility for sex-without-consequences. We’re the ones who have to ingest birth control pills packed with female steroids, or transport that copper IUD with the weird vibes it sends throughout our uteruses and who knows where else, or insert that clumsy diaphragm, or wear those birth control patches that cause heart attacks. And then we end up pregnant anyway and have to get the abortions or raise the products of conception as single moms.

And now we’re being asked to assume accountability for STDs, too? No.

So when the New York Post reported Feb. 16 that the city of New York has launched a campaign to distribute 26 million condoms during rush hour in subway stations, I had an idea.

Why not mandate that every 11-year-old boy carry a condom in his pocket?

I got this brainstorm because New York City officials offered the very same reasons for widespread condom distribution as have proponents of mandated HPV vaccinations, as the article states:

[Mayor Michael] Bloomberg defended the $1.5 million condom program spearheaded by city Health Commissioner Dr. Thomas Frieden. … “We believe we’re saving lives, and it’s important to do that.” …

The Health Department had instructed the employees not to offer free condoms to minors [JS: why not?], but the Post on Wednesday observed what appeared to be young teenagers taking handfuls of condoms [JS: whew].

Frieden said ramped-up condom distribution will boost safe sex, reducing HIV infection and unwanted pregnancies.

New York City leads the nation in HIV cases. In 2005, 1,400 city inhabitants died of AIDS, the third-leading killer for residents under 65, behind only cancer and heart disease.

“It will save lives and actually save money,” Frieden said. He added that he believes young people should abstain from sex, but if they don’t, they should use condoms.

“Not enough condoms are being used,” he said. …

The Health Department distributed 18 million free condoms last year through its health clinics and community groups.

It seems to me that mandating condoms in every adolescent boy’s pocket would theoretically stop the spread of many more sexually transmitted diseases than an HPV vaccine.

Although I must admit I’m at a loss to explain why the number of AIDS cases in New York continues to rise despite the fact liberals have for years focused on widespread condom teaching and now free distribution.

But let not the facts of history dissuade us.

I hereby call on all feminists (well, at least the ones who won’t get some sort of kickback) to resist mandated HPV vaccinations and join me instead in calling for a Condom Nation!

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