A landslide for the Lizard Queen

I fully expect Hillary Clinton to be the next president of the United States of America. Check that, I expect Hillary Rodham to be the next president of the United States of America; she's already dropped the Rodham for the campaign, as I expected, and she'll surely bring it back sometime between the election and the inauguration. Assuming, of course, that she wins.

And win she should. Last week's Republican debate demonstrated the massive problem facing Republicans in 2008, as Ron Paul was the only candidate with the constitutional fortitude to face up to the fact that the Iraq war is an electoral disaster waiting to happen. It's absolutely bizarre, as getting eviscerated in last year's congressional elections should have been more enough to convince the Republican Party that building Islamic democracies is not on the short list of the American people's most heartfelt wishes, but it's now clear that most of the Republican candidates are more committed to nation-building in Iraq than to the Constitution or preserving our own nation.

It's important to recall that in 2004, when the war was still supported by the majority of Americans, the presidential election was surprisingly close despite George Bush enjoying the benefit of being the incumbent, overseeing a friendly House and Senate and being popular within his own party. Now that the majority has turned against the war, (or at least the idea of taking on the role of the Turkish Armed Forces in ''guiding'' Iraqi democracy), the House and Senate are in Democratic hands and the president's popularity has sunk to levels previously seen at the end of the Carter administration, an electoral landslide in favor of the Democrats appears highly probable indeed.

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There are two recent positives for Republicans, though. The first is the way in which the debates unmasked Rudy Giuliani, as his first appearance on the national scene demonstrated that America doesn't have a mayor and that no one outside of the New York-based media actually cares that Mr. Giuliani saved New York City after 9/11. The idea that a Midwesterner, much less a Southron looking forward to an eventual Round Two, would support Giuliani on this basis was always cretinous and Republicans are fortunate that the myth is dissipating while there is still time to anoint a different frontrunner, preferably one who actually appeals to Republican voters.

The second is S?gol?ne Royal's defeat in France. There is normally little to be learned from French politics, but like the Lizard Queen, the Socialist candidate for the presidency was counting on her female appeal to women voters. Royal, as Hillary has done when pressed, wasn't afraid to pull the ''poor little woman'' card out of her bra, but it availed her nothing. In the first round of voting, Royal didn't even manage to win as many female votes as the eventual winner, Nicolas Sarkozy, who beat her 32 percent to 28 percent among women.

The important lesson here is that migration concerns trump sex. While women do like to vote for other women, they are even more inclined to vote for candidates who promise to do something about violent immigrants raping them and their daughters. Just as the violence in the banlieus doomed Royal, the unending reports of illegal aliens committing murders, driving drunk, molesting children and gang-raping women everywhere from California to North Carolina should give Republicans an opportunity to win the female vote.

Unfortunately, Republicans have stupidly lined up on the wrong side of the migration issue in their incredible championing of those who come to America to commit the crimes Americans won't commit. Given their other handicaps, it is far from certain that even a Republican taking a strong position on ending the migration and deporting all illegal aliens could beat Hillary or any other Democrat, but it is almost certain that a failure to do so will ensure a Democratic White House.

Obama, being an immigrant of sorts himself, probably can't afford to take a position opposing mass migration. But Republican abdication of this pro-American position leaves it open to the Lizard Queen and any serious move to claim the Lou Dobbs Democrats will probably guarantee her both the nomination and the election.

In the unlikely event that Obama shows any signs of giving Hillary a real run for her money, don't be surprised to hear her drop the southern accent and start talking like a Minuteman. And if she does that, prepare for a landslide of epic proportions.