Why are some farm animals more equal than others?

I was recently invited by a state bureaucrat to attend a Labor and Industries seminar on employer law. "We're the agency that protects your employees when they file a complaint against you," the woman told our local chamber of commerce.

As I considered whether to attend, I found myself wondering – who protects me, the employer? Who protects me when an employee uses vague threats of state regulatory agency investigations as blackmail – "If I don't get a raise this year …" Who protects me when a jealous and passed-over-for-promotion employee uses a state regulatory agency as retaliation against a coworker? Who protects me from stolen documents, fabricated evidence and slanderous lies to regulators, customers and competitors?

TRENDING: Is this what you voted for, America?

Not the state of (fill in the blank, they're are 49 others just like it). Complaints to regulatory agencies are frequently anonymous and faceless. And these regulators have their own legal system where they make up the rules that both sides must abide by, called administrative law. These are enforced by administrative law judges. The court system never sees them. "We're investigating blah, blah, blah. You have 10 days to deposit three truckloads of records on our doorstep. Don't forget to include the ones your anonymous employee has already stolen."

No – you don't have a right to see the complaint against you. No – you don't have a right to confront the witnesses or even know their identity. No – you don't have any recourse against false and malicious fabrications because we grant anyone who files a complaint immunity. No – the only right you have, Mr. Employer, is to pay for the cost of the investigation, even though you were exonerated of any wrongdoing (no small accomplishment in today's regulatory cornucopia).

My, what a relief to know that I still have some rights. Unfortunately, they don't include the lower insurance premium that I had before the complaint was investigated. Unfortunately, I don't have any recourse because sales have dropped while I answered the complaint and responded during the investigation. "No, Herr Employer, you don't have any rights. This way to the showers; the gassing will begin momentarily. We're simply protecting your employee. Did you complete your will, leaving everything to the state?"

I recently spoke with a friend who is a certified public accountant. "When I began my career at an audit firm," he said, "you could generally assume that if someone answered your question, they were telling the truth." That was 35 years ago. "Today," he continued, "I have to assume they are lying to me."

Every state constitution in this land – as well as the United States Constitution – requires the state to protect individual rights. Every state legislature and the United States Congress for our entire lifetimes have been manufacturing group rights, as fast as various hyphenated-American splinter groups are able to congregate in the barnyard. Every state governor and U.S. president has enforced these group rights over and above individual rights, because they happen to think that some of the animals in the barnyard are more worthy than others.

Perhaps we as small employers need to begin working the system and pooping over in the legislative and executive sections of the barnyard. Census data for 2004 shows there were roughly 4.45 million firms employing from one to 19 people in America. A conservative estimate would indicate that amounts to over 17 million voters, not counting their families, dependent on these small firms for their living. Many of these firms have a close relationship with dozens, hundreds and sometimes thousands of customers. (There are an additional 19.5 million one-person firms with no employees).

With even a modest education effort, those of us in this group could elect, or de-elect, nearly any public official in any state in this country. And between elections we could account for a good deal of referendum and initiative mischief as well. There would be "inquiries" and "investigations," of course, but when we implement "loser pays" statutes for governmental regulatory agencies, there will be remarkably fewer of these retaliatory fishing expeditions. All we need is a voice. Are there any takers?

Related special offer:

"Size Matters: How Big Government Puts the Squeeze on America's Families, Finances, and Freedom (And Limits the Pursuit of Happiness)"