Breeder tax solves unborn death rate

I've been pondering an idea that, as a conservative, goes against every fiber of my political philosophy: A tax increase.

I know, I know… but give me a minute.

First a bit of background as to what to tax and why.

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If elected president, John Edwards and other Democrat candidates, including Hillary Clinton, who proudly wears her "If abortions are outlawed, only outlaws will be able to screw around with my husband" T-shirt to every Planned Parenthood speech, have stated that they will seek full funding for abortions – "universal death care" if you will.

The challenge for these politicians is to always find a way to say "keep your laws off our bodies" while still managing to keep their hands in your back pocket.

As somebody who is described as "pro life," which is to say against abortion, I find calls for further funding of abortions a bit disturbing to say the least. After all, there is an old adage that goes "tax it if you want less of it, fund it if you want more of it."

After reciting that adage, an idea struck – an *eco-friendly compact fluorescent light bulb went on above my head (*gratuitous environmental reference intended to obtain the notice of Al Gore).

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a short piece on government double-speak as it concerns cigarette taxes. Cigarettes smokers, and the participants in many other behaviors that are "bad" for us, are often called upon to pay extra taxes. It is claimed that by making the use of these products wildly expensive, the participation in said behavior will decrease, and the money collected, it is often said, will go toward "health care" or "for the children" or some other such open trough with plenty of room for political snouts.

So, since taxes tend to lessen participation in whatever behavior that is being taxed, what could we do about abortions?

I know what you might be thinking. "Well, if you want something to decrease, you tax it. So how about an abortion tax?"

Nope, that's not what I'm talking about. When dealing in politics, logic must be thrown out the window. Besides, an abortion tax wouldn't sell. Too many pro-abortion groups have a big say over the voting habits of too many liberal politicians. Besides, how would a liberal politician explain to radical feminists that they're for charging women a fee to exercise their Constitutional "right"? That only works with gun laws.

We need to think bigger if we want to drastically lower the abortion rate, and all without having to worry about things like overturning Roe v. Wade. We need a plan that will make the eyes of pro-abortion politicians light up like John Edwards when the Bain de Soleil delivery truck arrives at Pink Sapphire.

We need a plan that makes Obama, Kennedy and Clinton want more babies to be born.

What makes Democrat eyes light up the brightest? Taxes, and plenty of 'em!

So, for anybody who's interested in seeing the Democrat support for abortion plunge like Hillary's neckline, here's my proposal: A live birth tax and a big one. And just to ensure every Democrat is on board, we'll throw in a large tax deduction for abortions. Sounds crazy, I know, but consider who we're dealing with.

It's no wonder tax 'n' spend Democrats support abortion to such a degree – Americans get huge tax breaks for having children. How this practiced has survived so long amid all the fears of over-population is beyond me.

Utilizing the rules of government math, 40 percent of the money raised via the "live birth tax" will go toward providing health care to every American; 40 percent will go toward infrastructure; and the other 40 percent will go into the re-election coffers of the members of Congress in whatever district the live birth occurred. The latter is to create an atmosphere of competition for live births in congressional districts – gerrymandering with diapers and Desitin.

Upon implementation of this plan, we would soon see every Democrat candidate in front of abortion clinics across the land offering to council women out of a tragedy, and into giving them money – er, I mean, doing the right thing.

What if the person giving birth can't afford the live birth tax? Not a problem, because these individuals will be fully covered thanks to a new cigarette tax.

One thing is for certain: The logic in this plan is at least as ironclad and feasible as that in most proposals presented by the Democrat presidential candidates.

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