Journalistic Manipulation 101

Editor's note: Michael Ackley's columns may include satire and parody based on current events and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell which is which.

"All right, students, come to order!"

Professor Howard Bashford was addressing his advanced reporting class at the University of New South Umberland in Minot, N.D.

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"When this semester began, I promised you would-be reporters I would show you how to get across the truth in a news story without exposing yourself to charges of inaccuracy," Bashford said. "Today we'll begin this vital instruction by analyzing some paragraphs from the…

"Yes, Ms. Handleman?"

One of the professor's senior students, Amy Handleman, had raised her hand. She asked, "What do you mean by 'truth', professor? Isn't it hard enough just to get the facts?"

"What an excellent question!" Bashford exclaimed. "Yes, it is difficult to ascertain the facts of a matter, but the truth can actually be easier to find. All you have to do is search your heart.

"You must know – as all of us in academia know – that the Republican administration is basically unjust and oppressive. Therefore, you can apply that knowledge to any situation involving the administration and convey the truth that whatever the administration does is suspect.

"Besides, if you're reporting a story involving the administration, you also know more of the facts than just about any of your readers, so you're well qualified to inject truth into your story as well."

"But wouldn't people say I was editorializing?" Handleman pressed.

Bashford smiled indulgently and said, "Reporters have been providing 'analysis' for so long, hardly anybody takes notice anymore. But let us move along into examples I have selected from a Miami Herald story on the conviction – one might say 'railroading' – of terrorism suspect Jose Padilla.

"Here's a sample paragraph: 'It took 12 Miami-Dade jurors just 11 hours to reach their unanimous verdicts, despite a complex body of evidence that included hundreds of FBI phone wiretaps introduced during the three-month federal trial.'

"After you have worked in the field for a few years you will realize how important little words can be. In this paragraph you have plenty of fact, but the truth lies in the word 'just.'

"This word is absolutely nonessential in the sentence, but most readers – subconsciously at least – will recognize the truth that this was a rush to judgment. The jurors didn't take enough time with the evidence. Most will catch the meaning of 'just' as barely sufficient or, in fact, insufficient.

"Let's move along and look at another paragraph: 'The jurors – who once dressed in red, white and blue at trial before the Fourth of July – declined to comment publicly after the verdicts were read.'

"Although their garb seems irrelevant to the story, the reporter is telling the following truth: These jurors were patriots, meaning they loved their country. You can't expect a juror who loves his country to be unbiased in judging the case against an accused terrorist.

"Here's another truthful paragraph: 'Rather than hold a traditional news conference with local prosecutors in Miami, the Justice Department seized the opportunity to highlight the triumph by publicizing it from Washington.'"

"Excuse me, professor," interjected Handleman, "but wouldn't it have been just as accurate to say simply, 'The Justice Department discussed the conviction at a Washington press conference'?"

"Accurate, yes," said Bashford, "but not truthful from our standpoint. The story had to convey the truth that the Bush administration needed a 'triumph' in this case. As the reporters note in the next paragraph, 'Attorney General Alberto Gonzales … has been embroiled in controversy over his leadership at the Justice Department.'

"What do you mean by 'our standpoint,' professor?" asked Handleman.

Bashford seemed flustered, but only for a moment.

"Our standpoint, the standpoint of us truth tellers," he said. "We are the educated and trained. We are the morally and ethically fit. We are the perceptive and enlightened. We are the ones who have the power of knowledge. We have the skill to manipulate words and context to get across our truth, which is the truth, and we have a moral obligation to do so. We should be running things anyway, but since we couldn't get elected to pick up roadkill, we have to help the right party.

"And we're doing it all over the country, with little words like 'just' and 'so-called' and all the other loaded modifiers at our disposal. We have to. We must. We shall!

"From each according to his ability; to each according to his needs! Si, se puede! No revolution without blood!"

Bashford was still shouting slogans when the students, noting class time was over, quietly gathered their books and shuffled out the rear door.

"Funny thing," a classmate said to Handleman. "My political science professor went off the same way."

"And my history prof," said another.

"And my sociology instructor," said Handleman. "I guess that if the truth will get out, it's our job to make sure it's our truth. I think it's a lesson that will help me nail down an internship at the New York Times."

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