We must be entering the campaign season in earnest – albeit a year early. I say that because the Democrats have begun to “walk the talk.”

That’s right: The Democrats have started “giving back.” The first thing they’re “giving back” is Norman Hsu’s stolen money.

Mr. Hsu, you may recall, made “funny-money” donations to Democrats from a little house in a San Francisco suburb. Neither the house nor its residents had ever met Mr. Hsu before. Such is the miracle of modern political networking.

Hsu, whose theory seems to have been that you can’t “give back” until you have taken, took investors in California (and other parts of the world) for their life savings.

Apparently for Democrats, “don’t ask, don’t tell” is a policy with wider application than just the military. They didn’t ask Mr. Hsu where the money came from – and they didn’t tell California authorities a wanted felon was hanging around campaign headquarters.

Obviously, this put the Democrats in a quandary (or is it a quagmire?). How could they appear to “give back,” without really “giving back”?

Not being all that familiar with the actual mechanics of “giving back,” the Democrats first tried to give the tainted money to an unnamed “charity.” This “charity” was no doubt expected to bestow the glow of good works on the stolen cash, and then give it back to the Democrats. (The Bill Clinton foundation comes to mind, but the charity was never named.)

As the true scale of Hsu’s largesse became known outside of campaign circles – over three-quarters of a million dollars to Hillary Clinton and still counting – the Democrats realized they had a problem. The money not only needed to look like it was being “given back,” it actually – gulp – had to be given back. Bummer, man.

As anyone who’s ever robbed a bank knows – if you are caught, all you have to do is “give back” the stolen money. This makes the crime and the FBI go away, too. After all, you shouldn’t be penalized for failure, right? (OK, so maybe that only works if you are a U.S. senator from New York, and while your husband was president of the United States he bought you a senate seat with presidential pardons, as a going away gift.)

It will be interesting to see where the Norman Hsu trail goes. Unfortunately, the road ahead for Mr. Hsu looks rather short; I suspect it ends in a graveyard. If he stays in the hospital, well – everybody knows how risky those places are. If he goes to California to serve his time for grand theft, he may well be killed in an inmate fight. Of course, there’s always “protective” federal custody.

The one imperative is that citizens must never learn how corrupt the campaign coffer business has become. It’s corollary is that dead donors tell no tales.

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