The world’s No. 1 snake-oil salesman blew into Canada this week, and he pulled out all the stops. Former President Bill Clinton gave the keynote address at the Ontario Economic Summit in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, across the border from Buffalo, N.Y.
Rush Limbaugh still calls Clinton “slick Willy,” but I prefer to think of him as the modern equivalent of the Wild West snake-oil salesman.
Remember that character?
He was the traveling “doctor” with dubious credentials, selling some kind of “magic medicine” with boisterous marketing hype, often supported by pseudo-scientific evidence. Clinton doesn’t exactly fit that bill; he was, after all, the 42nd president of the United States. But he is an awful lot like one of those old time “grifters.”
He blows in, peddles his wares, and then blows out of town before anyone is the wiser.
Grifters were notorious for selling people a magic elixir that was often nothing but sugar water with a bit of food coloring added. But to make the sale, they needed accomplices, called “shills.” Those were the guys that would attest to the value of the “remedy.”
The Clintons have an entire entourage of accomplices. Hillary’s shills were discovered in Iowa. In Bill’s case, the shills are the media. Reporters just love this guy. They wouldn’t question a thing he said. The local Niagara contingent was no better. They called his address “riveting,” “insightful,” “profound” and “heart-warming.” The former president “put out a compelling call to action to better the world.”
But a good snake-oil salesman doesn’t just rely on a shill, he has to be able to work the crowd; he has to be able to sell his story, explain the problem and pull at those heartstrings. That’s something Bill is a master at doing, and that’s the thing that makes him the only real asset to his wife’s presidential ambitions.
Remember the line “I feel your pain”? It was that same Bill Clinton who wowed the Canadians with a foretaste of what a Clintonian administration would feel like again.
Clinton commended the Canadian government for exercising fiscal responsibility over its military involvement in Afghanistan – an obvious shot at President Bush. Clinton repeated the sacred credo that America’s system is cold and brutal. “Half of all personal bankruptcies in the U.S. are due to health-care emergencies,” he said. Presumably underscoring the need for Hillary-care.
“I keep reading Canadians are dissatisfied with the waiting times of the Canadian system,” Clinton said. “But don’t ever let the health-care bank tail wag the health-care dog, or you’ll be in trouble.”
Clinton also talked about the need to secure the future for the “world’s children.” One in four deaths throughout the world comes from AIDS, tuberculosis or malaria. He challenged the audience to rectify the world’s inequities. Clinton highlighted France, which is struggling to define what it means to be French with an influx of Muslim immigrants.
According to Clinton, “understanding,” “respect” and “human rights” are essential in this multicultural age. “We have to create a global consciousness so that people have psychological security so they can follow their religion and be free to follow their culture and keep their language.”
And then he talked about global warming. He cautioned the world’s oil industries that they must do much more. If not, he warned, “the worst predictions on global warming (are) going to happen. The only question is when.”
Like any good snake-oil salesman, Clinton found a way to prove to people that “he cares” when describing a particular problem.
There is a saying about Americans – that they are easily deceived, that their rugged individualism makes them a perfect target for any passing snake-oil salesman. But today’s snake-oil salesmen no longer peddle ointments. They peddle politics, especially that magic cure-all called “big government.”
Of course, Bill’s particular remedy is Hillary Clinton, an odd product to be selling to a largely Canadian audience. But when you factor in their underlying intentions, it isn’t surprising that Bill would be delivering a stump speech for Hillary in Canada.
The Clintons don’t just want the U.S. presidency; their designs are much more international. After all, once George W. Bush – the man they call the “cowboy of foreign policy” – hits the dust, a new tone will set in. And the new Wild West will need Hillary-care with a global bent.
One last thing about old-time grifters. They tended to blow out of town as quickly as they came in; no sense in hanging around. People just might become the wiser.
Clinton told the Niagara audience of 600, who paid about 200 dollars a head to hear him speak, that he had to fly to Washington immediately following his speech to be with Hillary. But there was a caveat. Clinton said he was so impressed with Niagara-on-the-Lake that he was going to bring Hillary back after she wins the Democratic primaries.
The audience nearly fainted.
You know that saying about Americans being so gullible they’ll buy snake oil from anybody? I believe that’s doubly true of Canadians.
Related special offers:
“Target: Caught in the Crosshairs of Bill and Hillary Clinton”
“Her Way: The Hopes and Ambitions of Hillary Rodham Clinton”
“I’ve Always Been a Yankees Fan: Hillary Clinton in Her Own Words”
“Hillary’s Secret War: The Clinton Conspiracy to Muzzle Internet Journalists”
The 2 things Trump can do to make himself the GOAT president
Wayne Allyn Root