May the most beatable Democrat win!

After Hillary Clinton lost in Iowa, some members of the massive anti-Hillary movement celebrated a bit. Normally, I might have, but lately it has occurred to me how accustomed Republicans have grown to GOP failures to nominate true conservatives – so much so that we've actually become entangled in worrying about who the opponent is going to be.

Great candidates, like great sports teams, aren't concerned with any particular opposition, as they'll be prepared to defeat any comers. This is where the GOP has gone wildly astray since the departure of Ronald Reagan.

I'm not particularly thrilled about any of Hillary Clinton's woes. Politically speaking, there isn't much difference between Clinton, Obama and Edwards. As a matter of fact, Hillary may be the moderate of the bunch.

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If Hillary should end up as proof of widespread NCF – National Clinton Fatigue – a tired feeling that not even the strongest cup of amphetamine-laced cappuccino can snap us out of, we should first be wary that, at least in early primary polling, Republicans seem unwilling to fully support a candidate who won't end up as the Bob Dole of the new millennium.

Imagine the post-Iowa fury that must fill Hillary Clinton heading into New Hampshire, where she is currently in a dead heat with Barack Obama. The fact that she came in third behind a skinny, black political plebe and an effeminate ambulance chaser must have the rage dial on the Hil-o-meter pushing well into the red zone.

Will this cause Hillary to "go negative"? Not at all. She'll focus on herself. "I was never a coke addict" and "my middle name isn't Hussein" will be nice, positive themes.

Yes, having a woman and a black man as front-runners leading into a presidential nomination process is indeed historic. But when somebody is planning to confiscate what's left of our money to fund even more of their Spruce-Goose style grand visions and achieve the ultimate in "fairness" by making us all poor, whether said schemer is a man, woman, black or white should really be of distant secondary concern.

Barack Obama may well win the Democratic nomination. Even John Edwards has an outside chance. Obama seems to be one of the more likable candidates on the campaign trail from either party. He might even get my vote, if it weren't for the fact that I think his political views are hideously leftist and his empty calls for "unity" and "change" are troublesome. Heck, Jim Jones' followers were "unified." Al-Qaida wants "change." When did those words alone become automatically good ideas?

Even taking that into account, I am tending to root for Obama's nomination. Not because he'd be the easier candidate for the Republican to defeat, but to avoid any chance whatsoever of this happening: Supreme Court Justice Bill Clinton.

Probably at least three justices will retire in the next few years – either to spend more time with their families or because they lost the landmark case of "Judge v. G. Reaper."

Think about it. There's precedent for such a move, and it would allow the Bonnie and Clyde of deceit and deception to pretend to still be married while keeping them a respectable distance apart so nobody is offended by any number of girlfriends. Same goes for Bill.

All in all, however, we should apply the old saying of "the enemy you know is better than the enemy you don't know" to the Democrats, and not be so quick to jump to joyous celebration at Hillary's recent troubles.

Another enemy we don't know is which Republican will be nominated, and as the couple of conservative Republicans who would represent strong nominees fail to gain a national footing, this election could come down to what many others have: hoping the Democrats nominate a Dukakis-style tank-helmeted weenie, and – John Edwards' head full of hot rollers aside – I don't think they have one this year.

The Democrats will win back the White House – unless the Republicans soon wake up and nominate a true conservative, which at this point appears about as likely as Britney getting her kids back before this weekend.

Hey, at least Hillary lost the Iowa caucus big time. Let's celebrate like crazy – until Barack Obama is sworn in as the next president of the United States and Republicans decide to wake up.

"May the most beatable Democrat win the nomination!" It's a wishy-washy rallying cry for Republicans, but it might be all they've got.