The Barbie doll-GI Joe effect

The average American puts as much thought into selecting a president as a 7-year-old puts into selecting a Barbie doll. It's a beauty contest! In fact, Mattel was roundly criticized in 1992, and again in 2000, for coming out with a "Presidential Candidate Barbie."

Don't blame Mattel. We have come to expect the candidate who gets our vote will have the movie-star good looks of Barbie, her boyfriend Ken or his macho rival from Hasbro, GI Joe.

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Most serious presidential candidates employ highly paid image consultants. It's not just the $400 haircuts. It's the wardrobe consultants, the make-up artists and, when necessary, the plastic surgeon – whatever it takes to make one's exterior appealing.

If this were not so, Hillary Clinton never would have ditched her horned rimmed glasses and sensible shoes. This hard-core feminist is like a fish out of water in jewelry and pastels, but she adapted, first, to further Bill's political ambitions, and now those of her own.

The Democratic candidates are all from the Mattel mold with the same cookie-cutter, left-wing message.

The GOP field is more diverse. The winner of last weekend's Nevada caucus was the Barbie doll Mitt Romney, a "Ken" look-a-like if ever there were one. The winner in South Carolina was John McCain, an aging but still ruggedly handsome GI Joe with a Barbie wife.

These days, the only way a candidate who is not "Mattel perfect" can reach us is by being as entertaining as the others are suave. That's why voters have flirted with the Big Apple's Rudy Giuliani and "True Grit" Mike Huckabee.

How else can you explain the demise of Fred Thompson, Duncan Hunter and Tom Tancredo – the candidates whose records matched their rhetoric on the issues GOP voters say are most important?

Sure, we want our president to have depth and reflect our values, but if truth is known, most get their political news from 30-second sound bites or, worse still, slick political ads placed between sitcoms and sporting events. As a result, we, like that 7-year-old, project our own personalities on the candidates who win our hearts.

With the country on the brink of recession, the economy was the issue voters in Nevada and South Carolina rated "most important." This explains the Ken look-a-like's victory in Nevada, but what were voters in South Carolina thinking?

John McCain has never run a business or met a payroll. Furthermore, he is dead wrong on the illegal immigration issue, which was listed right behind the economy on the list of voter concerns.

Next was the war in Iraq and terrorism. All the top-tier GOP candidates are strong on these issues. However, McCain, to his credit, is the only one who has served in our armed forces. Does that mean this man can be trusted with the nuclear football?

Many of his colleges in the Senate have said "no." McCain's temper and uncontrolled outbursts in the Capitol, where civility is the rule, are well-documented.

In February 1997, in the Washingtonian, Harry Jaffe related that in 1995, Sen. McCain had a "scuffle" with then-92-year-old Strom Thurmond of South Carolina after Chairman Thurmond encouraged him to shorten his opening statement during a hearing of his Armed Services Committee.

In the Feb. 21, 2000, Newsweek, in a piece called "Senator Hothead," Evan Thomas reported that McCain called Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa a "f---ing jerk" during a debate over the fate of the Vietnam MIAs. Additionally, Thomas reported that McCain repeatedly called Sen. Pete Domenici of New Mexico an "a--hole" during a debate over the budget. Thomas related, "The Republican senator witnessing the scene had considered supporting McCain for president, but changed his mind. 'I decided,' the senator told Newsweek, 'I didn't want this guy anywhere near a trigger.'"

Has McCain mellowed? Apparently not. Charles Hurt of the New York Post reported an outburst that occurred just last May. During a discussion in a room off the Senate floor, McCain lost it and screamed "f--- you!" at Sen. John Cornyn of Texas, who had raised concerns over his immigration bill.

At the very least, the candidate you are considering for the office of president of the United States should be able to demonstrate that he can keep his cool under pressure. A man who calls his fellow senators names and beats up on a 92-year-old clearly is unsuitable for this job.

Playing out your fantasies and projecting your own thoughts on those GI Joe and Barbie dolls is harmless when you are 7 years old, but when adults do it with presidential candidates, it can be disastrous for the country.

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