So many members of the media seem to be forgetting that there is no need to speculate on what a Hillary presidency would bring to the United States, as we’ve already experienced her as co-president for eight years.
An example of this media memory lapse came during the CNN debate with a question from the moderator that allowed Hillary to unleash her trademark cackle – this time though, Hillary reached down deep in order to drop a MOAC (Mother of All Cackles) that she keeps stored in the bomb bay of her pantsuit for just such an emergency.
For those of you who don’t know, a MOAC isn’t designed as a display of humor recognition and appreciation, but rather as an offensive weapon intended to strike fear into the heart of the questioner, though it usually doesn’t hit the intended mark and ends up being more annoying than anything. In other words, a MOAC is sort of Hillary’s version of a Scud missile.
She did have a point in cackling off that particular question, however: “If you can’t control your husband now, what will it be like when you’re in the White House?”
We’ve already seen what that’s like: lock up your daughters, hide your wallets and purses, call Chem-Dry and grab a mop.
In spite of efforts to pretend there would be any surprises if the Clintons are back in the White House, there wouldn’t be. For the Clintons, there are no “new surprises” – there is only “unfinished business.”
The Clintons’ ongoing pitch concerning terrorism and national security has always been, in essence, that we were safer when Bill Clinton was president. Should Hillary attain her party’s nomination for president, her main point after the convention will be to ask Americans if they want to go back to those peaceful times when the Clintons were in the White House and there were only five destructive missiles launched in eight years – two at Afghanistan, two at Sudan and the one documented in the Starr Report.
I don’t doubt for one second that this country was at least a little safer when Bill Clinton was president, especially concerning China. Hillary will handle things the same way. The Chinese aren’t about to nuke the White House while their own operatives are crashing in the Lincoln Bedroom, especially if they have the state checkbook with them.
This is keeping the nation “safe,” Clinton-style: Your enemies probably won’t want to harm you if they’re profiting from the relationship. It’s “security by mutual extortion” – an under-the-table, quasi-free market system that provides open communists abroad and closet Marxists and socialists at home with a way to practice guilt-free capitalism without publicly compromising their principles. Hillary’s administration would pick up right where her husband left off, so there would be no surprises in this area, either.
Fortunately, Hillary’s first major stupid idea in the early days of the Bill Clinton presidency, national health care, went nowhere except into a hilariously dizzying liberal death spiral, the comical nature of such could be rivaled only by Ted Kennedy trying to drive a floor buffer across the Dyke Bridge. But with Hillary as president, the next time we won’t be nearly as lucky.
Many conservatives, me included, are less than thrilled about the possible nomination of John McCain. It’s true that, if McCain is the GOP nominee, the Democrats will be as excited as Kwame Kilpatrick getting a text message. Why? Because no matter which party wins in November, the Democrats will have someone in the White House.
As a result of this frustration, many Republicans have vowed to vote for a third party or even for Hillary Clinton if McCain is the nominee. This is known in tactical circles as “Operation: ‘Cut your nose off to spite your face.'”
Those who would willingly give the Clintons the keys to 1600 Pennsylvania for another four to eight years are the political equivalent of parents who let their kids stay overnight at Neverland Ranch – twice.
McCain might be politically misguided and has been in bed with so many Democrats that he has mattress sores in the shape of George McGovern, but next to the Clintons he’s a pillar of ethics and honesty.
Ms. Clinton, if you’re in the White House, will you be ethical and honest? (insert weapons-grade MOAC here)
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