Barack and roll, Clintons must go

Have you ever hosted a party and had that one couple that just wouldn’t leave?

It’s 1:00 in the morning, you’re exhausted and still facing cleaning up a mess, but the couple show no willingness to go away. The guy is in the kitchen blowing in your wife’s ear, and his wife is looking you right in the face, denying she stole your gold pen set while ink runs down her pant leg. You show them the door and even threaten to call the police, but they refuse to leave. What do you do?

In this case, the United States is hosting the party, and “that couple” is the Clintons.

It’s well past time for the Clintons to go. The country can’t afford another four years minimum in the Clinton chop shop, so if Barack “The Great Ora-Tater” Obama is the man to get them to leave, then for one brief shining moment, I’m the biggest Obama fan of them all.

As the situation grows more desperate, the Clintons must try to appear to be “victimized” by the process – no easy feat. For example, MSNBC’s David Shuster said the Clintons “pimped out” their daughter, Chelsea, for having her make phone calls on behalf of her mother’s campaign.

Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson said the comment was “beneath contempt” and disgusting. Coming from a guy who represents somebody who was serviced in the White House by a barely legal, pudgy pizza delivery girl while his wife looked the other way for her own political reasons, all while both of them did more smearing than a kindergarten finger-painting class, that’s saying something.

MSNBC apologized, of course, and it’s not because they’re sincerely sorry. People apologize to the Clintons in the same way that Tina Turner used to apologize to Ike for hurting his knuckles.

The Clintons are even victimized by allegedly declining campaign donations, resulting in Hillary walking around with a tip jar on her head. It was reported that Bill had to loan Hillary’s campaign a few million dollars, presumably all in damp, wadded-up singles with glitter stuck to them. We’ll never hear about the 45 percent interest rate the campaign will be charged for the payback of the loan, however.

Hillary’s campaign even made up a story about not being able to pay staffers in an attempt to spur donations – as if 99.9 percent of America cares whether or not Huma Abedin misses a car payment.

The “can’t afford to pay our staffers” trick can’t work for long, but something tells me if it works once it’ll be tried over and over again until Hillary’s donors finally feel like a boss listening to an employee call in absent because he has to attend the funeral of his eighth dead grandparent this year.

This brings us to the main threat to the Clintons grip on power: Barack Obama.

I’ve begun to fear for Obama’s safety, but not because of some racist nut case.

Obama recently made much of the DNC gasp audibly by going full-blown Elliot Ness and calling for Hillary Clinton to release her tax return, saying that Americans have the right to know from where the presidential candidates have derived their income. He might as well have asked the pope if he can have a kegger in the Vatican.

Personal finances are the Clintons “Area 51,” and you know what happens to people who try to break through that fence.

I differ from Sen. Obama. I don’t really want to know any more than I already know about the Clintons, especially if they’re going to be back in the White House.

When they’re in power, the Clintons are like the hot dogs I just ate. I know they’re loaded with a lot of horrific things that aren’t good for me – but, once there’s nothing I can do about it, I don’t really want to know exactly what.

If Barack Obama can manage to pull off a win in a game that’s probably rigged against him, it would be a bigger upset than we saw in the Super Bowl and the country would be better off in the long term as a result.

As for the party our country is hosting, it’s 3 a.m., the food and drinks are all gone, the kids’ piggy banks are missing, the wife’s panty drawer has been pillaged, and that couple still won’t leave …

 

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