'Gay' study: Marriage makes little difference

Esther Rothblum

A new study on homosexual and lesbian couples that has been promoted as showing committed same-sex couples are "more satisfied" with their partners than married heterosexuals also reveals that among same-sex partners, marriage matters little.

In a startling revelation that could take the wind out of the sails of activists demanding same-sex "marriage" as a right, the study found, "In general, there were few differences between same-sex couples who could get married in Massachusetts and couples who could have only marriage-like relationships in California and Vermont."

The study was done by Esther Rothblum of San Diego State University, who specializes in same-sex issues. The school's announcement about the study was headlined: "Committed Same-Sex Couples More Satisfied With Their Partners than Married Heterosexual Couples."

"The study showed that same-sex couples reported greater relationship quality, compatibility, intimacy and lower levels of conflict than married couples. The research, published in the January issue of Developmental Psychology, is the first study to follow same-sex couples in civil unions over time," the publicity release said.

"The reasons for this could be varied but when you have two women or two men in a couple, they have been socialized similarly and so they're both from 'Venus' or both from 'Mars,' so to speak,” said Rothblum, study co-author and professor in SDSU’s department of women’s studies. "Because of this they may not have to negotiate the huge barriers that men and women do in terms of how they view conflict, provide emotional support or handle childrearing."

The study was one of several documents cited by columnist Julie Sullivan of The Oregonian in a column that trumpeted the higher happiness levels for same-sex duos.

"Same-sex couples are more honest about monogamy and sex, researchers say. They're also more mature, considerate and fairer to each other than heterosexual couples. They're funnier and more affectionate when they argue. Less controlling. They don't take everything so personally," she wrote.

She also cited research done at the Gottman Institute in Seattle, which has a number of studies posted on its website that address same-sex relationships.

She quoted Rothblum: "[A] difference in how long [same-sex] couples stayed together cannot be attributed to the civil union itself."

The study itself, available online at Rothblum's university web page, expands on her conclusion that there are "few differences" among same-sex couples who can get married or not.

The study said only Massachusetts homosexuals are allowed actually to "marry," and that process still is in its early stages there. And the study said the study of duos from Vermont, California and Massachusetts was "the first to compare three states that … are identical in their same-sex legislation at the legal level."

"This study is more about who chooses to have a legalized relationship and less about how being in a marriage, civil union, or domestic partnership changes a relationship," the study said.

"Some same-sex couples marry or perform commitment ceremonies to be accepted by families of origin; others do so as a form of rebellion," it said.

In addition, under the headline "Do Same-Sex Couples Want to Get Married?" the study noted that marriage is "controversial" within the homosexual community.

"The radical position asserts that marriage is an oppressive institution and that same-sex relationships should be unique and freely chosen, not mimicking heterosexual norms," the study said. "Books such as 'That's Revolting!' … argue that mainstream issues such as marriage have drained LGBT communities of power and cultural identity.

"As Canadian gay magazine editor Mitchel Raphael stated about gay marriage in Canada: 'I'd be for marriage if I though gay people would challenge and change the institution and not buy into the traditional meaning of 'til death do us part' and monogamy forever. …'" the study quoted.

"Results indicate few differences between same-sex couples in civil unions and those not in civil unions…," Rothblum continued.

Rothblum says her research and writings have focused on "women's mental health and relationships with a specific focus on (1) sexual orientation, (2) the stigma of weight and (3) academic procrastination."

In the category of sexual orientation, "My research has focused on methodological issues, including factors unique to lesbians as well as ways that gender and sexual orientation intersect."

The study also raised questions about the issue of "discrimination" against homosexuals.

Under "Discrimination," the study summarized: "There were no significant gender or interstate effects for having LGB people at work, having had problems at work as a result of being LGB, having lost or been refused a job as a result of being LGB, or having been refused a place to live as a result of being LGB."

The Oregonian column followed the lead of the news release from the university employing Rothblum, noting that her study and another "found much the same – including that same-sex partners are generally happier than their straight siblings who are married."

With heterosexual couples, you really have to translate what your partner is sayinig because they grew up in different worlds," Rothblum said. "They socialized in different ways. That's where same-sex couples have an advantage."

The Gottman organization said it has found that "workshops tailored to gay and lesbian couples can have a strong impact on relationships."

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