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Christian men get honest about porn addiction

An award-winning musician who has produced songs of hope and healing has turned his talents toward creating a documentary on a closeted problem running rampant within the Christian church: men and marriages struggling with sex addiction.

“Somebody’s Daughter,” subtitled “A Journey to Freedom from Pornography and Sexual Addiction,” is a documentary based on the confessions of three church-going men and the struggles of one married couple to overcome the addictive power of porn.

The film targets men within Christianity, where pornography is considered immoral but where statistics show – according to the “Somebody’s Daughter” website – more than half of the men attending the Christian men’s Promise Keeper rallies admitted to viewing pornography, and 37 percent of Christian pastors admitted to being addicted to porn.

“It is often difficult to talk about issues like pornography, because we feel embarrassed, guilty or ashamed,” says Steve Siler, songwriter and producer of “Somebody’s Daughter.”

“I hope the DVD, with its combination of evocative music videos and honest, vulnerable discussion will give churches and other groups new doorways that will open up awareness and dialogue,” he says on his ministry’s website.

Dave Beguire, executive producer of Man2Man Express, a daily radio show for men, said of the video, “The personal testimonies given … lower the barrier for men who are having a hard time overcoming the shame and guilt of pornography. Hearing that other men have experienced the same feelings makes it easier for them to be honest about what’s going on in their lives.”

The trailer for “Somebody’s Daughter” can be seen below:


Producer of “Somebody’s Daughter,” Steve Siler, has written songs for movies, television and pop stars; he has written nine No. 1 songs on the Contemporary Christian Music charts. But he draws the most satisfaction from his ministry, Music for the Soul, which records songs aimed at healing the hearts of those who suffer from breast cancer, post traumatic stress disorder, childhood sexual abuse and other griefs.

Siler has found many people who have come back to him and thanked him for the uniquely powerful way in which his music brings healing.

According to a statement released by Music for the Soul, “Studies show people remember 10 percent of what they’re told and 40 percent of what they read, but 90 percent of what they hear in music.”

Consequently, Siler has produced songs and videos as part of the “Somebody’s Daughter” multimedia package targeted at the hearts of men and families seeking freedom from sex addiction.

“When we’re suffering from deep emotional pain, sometimes the guilt, shame, anger or denial can make it almost impossible for us to hear the truth, even when it is spoken in love,” says Siler. “Well-meaning words can bounce off the walls of self-defense we build to protect ourselves from pain. Music has a way of finding the cracks in our walls of defense and softening our hearts.”

In fact, “Somebody’s Daughter” began as a project between two songwriters, when Siler’s good friend, John Mandeville, came to him and confessed a pornography addiction. After attending a meeting for sex addicts, the two men wrote the song “Somebody’s Daughter.”

“We were two songwriters,” Siler said in an interview on GodTube.com. “Songwriters process by writing songs.”

The two men, both fathers of daughters, then wrote the original “Somebody’s Daughter” as a way of saying, in Siler’s words, “This is the way we are going to choose to look at women. This is the way we would like every man to see women, as a creation of a holy God, as having dignity and as being something not to be objectified but to be cherished.”

Years afterward, as “Somebody’s Daughter” was being filmed, Mandeville appears as one of the vulnerable, honest men in the documentary. Other voices were added to his, giving insight – from the inside – into the world of sex addiction.

“(Pornography) hollows you out,” says one of the men. “Anything that has life is stripped from it when it comes in contact with pornography.”

“The reason why pornography is the most addictive thing in the universe,” says another, “is that it allows a man to feel like a man without requiring him to be one.”

Difficult as it has been to tell the stories, Siler says the vulnerability has been worth it.

“I do not exaggerate when I say we’ve been told ‘Somebody’s Daughter’ has saved marriages and families, saved careers, restored broken relationships and even started ministries,” he says.

“Somebody’s Daughter” is scheduled to air Nov. 30 and Dec. 7 on the ION Television network (formerly PAX TV) and is available for purchase, along with accompanying CDs and a discussion guide at www.somebodysdaughter.org.