Dear College Students,
I know you've been enthusiastic about the Obama candidacy this campaign season. I know it because the media says so. I know it because the polls say so. Most of all, I know it because your professors say so. Because for all the talk on campuses across the country about standing up to authority, for all the talk about thinking for yourself and forging your own path, it's far more comfortable to follow the ideological footsteps of your teachers. After all, they're the ones administering the finals.
I remember. I only graduated from UCLA in 2004, the last time professors backed a Democratic candidate to the hilt. A lot of my classmates showed up to vote for John Kerry. A lot of them showed up to campaign for Kerry – after all, the students in the Kerry campaign office were probably easier than the students down at Bush-Cheney headquarters.
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I'm sure the same holds true today. There are probably a lot of good-looking Obama students out there. And I'm sure that it's tempting to go sign up to phone bank next to that student wearing the "I Heart Abortion Rights" T-shirt.
But there is no reason in the world why you should vote for Barack Obama. Behind the misty words about hope and change, there's an agenda you will have to pay for. Yes, you. That is, when you get a job.
Here, then, are the top four reasons for you to vote McCain-Palin in November.
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- Health care. You've heard all the pretty phrases from Obama and Biden about how health care should be universal. And we all feel bad for the uninsured guy with a bad hip, emphysema and diabetes. But here's the problem: He's not you. You're not going to be that guy for another 50 years. If Obama's plan goes into action, however, you're going to be paying for that guy, and a lot of guys just like him. Then when you're old, you'll pay for those same surgeries yourself. That's ridiculous. Here's a better solution: Let people pay for their own health care. That way you can get the cheap health care plan – you're not going to need that pacemaker for a few decades – and save up for that Wii.
- Social Security. Democrats constantly talk about how Republicans are going to take away everyone's Social Security and leave the elderly on the streets to eat cat food. There's only one problem: Nobody's Social Security actually exists. There is no giant Social Security fund where your parents' taxes went – that money went to the crappy public school down the block. Your parents' Social Security will be paid for by you. That is, unless you're allowed to keep some of your own money and invest it. While the stock market looks risky and volatile today, over the course of decades it invariably rises. Always. In 1980, the stock market was 891. In 1990, it was 2,678. Today, it's still well above 9,000. It's far smarter to bet on your own stock market picks than on future taxes.
- Taxes. You're just starting out in life. The last thing you need is the government taking all your hard-earned cash. Plus, you're not going to be able to find a job in a market where small-business owners are getting smoked by Barack Obama's fiscal irresponsibility.
- The War on Terror. You've heard all of the idiotic rumors about re-institution of a draft. Three words: Ain't. Gonna. Happen. You've heard about how Obama will bring flowers and posies and rainbow ponies to Afghanistan as soon as we pull out of Iraq. Three words: Ain't. Gonna. Happen. You may have thought that the war in Iraq wasn't a good idea, probably because you were 15 and MTV was telling you that war is bad. But whether you disagreed with the origins of the war or not, Islamist terrorists are now in Iraq. And if we don't kill them there, they'll take over that country and turn it into another terrorist state. If we keep surrendering countries to terrorists, then it won't be long before we will have to institute a draft – because it won't be long before someone hits L.A. with a suitcase nuke.
So try standing up to the campus herd. Try abandoning the Obama headquarters and taking a walk over to the McCain booth on campus – chances are the students are better looking there anyway, and have a Texas accent to boot. Try thinking beyond all the slogans and the insults and the elitist vagaries. You'll find that the case for McCain-Palin is far stronger than your professors are telling you.