So, black people are voting for Barack Obama because they think he’s black. Muslims are voting for Obama because they think he’s Muslim. Gays are voting for Obama because he’s rumored to be gay. And Democrats are voting for Obama because he’s a communist.

But for me, the biggest issue is the unchecked Islamization that America is embracing as Europe did. And historically, only two forces have been able to keep down Islamists: communism and secular Muslim dictators such as Saddam Hussein. In Barack Hussein, we have the best of both worlds, a phenomenon one might call Communislam. Since the West doesn’t know how to keep Islamists down – and Muslims will only put up with being kept down by one of their own – an Obama dictatorship may not be the worst of all scenarios.

None of what follows means to bolster the “Manchurian” smear that Obama has handily disproved (after all, the Manchurian candidate’s programming was to get switched on upon his assuming office, while Obama’s programming has been switched on the entire time). But even though many want us to believe that Obama’s Muslimness is just “Internet rumor,” this 1968 school registration indicates little Barry’s religion as Islam. Later, he gravitated toward an anti-American, anti-white, anti-Jewish church that praises Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan. Given that the candidate himself gets confused about “my Muslim faith,” I take heart that if he wins, he could finally make the hajj in a December Surprise.

A secular American Muslim dictatorship can give expansionist Islam a run for its money, and Obama already has mentioned his plan to annex an additional seven states. On national security, it could very well take Obama to finally get Osama. Bill Clinton didn’t do it. George W. couldn’t do it. But I think if we elect Barack Obama president, Osama bin Laden will finally die – from laughing his a– off.

Plus, if a black Muslim becomes president, it’ll doubly dispel the popular notion that “Muslims are the new black man in America.” This concept has never made sense. If Muslims are the new black man, why are so many blacks converting to Islam? They don’t feel black enough? They don’t like Jews or dogs either? Or do they just want a piece of the lucrative Muslim-led African slave trade? Regardless, if the saying is “Once you go black, you don’t go back,” see what happens once you go Muslim. You can’t go back. Unless you’re Barack Obama.

The semi-apostate Obama can walk on water indeed if he is still breathing after having left occasional Islam. The deification of him, meanwhile, lends Obama even more dictator creds – which manifested themselves most recently when he suggested that folks take Election Day off to vote – as the masses are required to do in places like Cuba. As well, a recent article noted that the unprecedented crowds that are a feature of Obama rallies are also a classic feature of third-world societies. For his part, Obama has affirmed his third-world envy, citing third-way Europe as a model. And being more like everyone else is precisely the “change” Americans crave. In Obama, they’ve got all the ingredients – Africa, communism, charisma and Islam.

Fortunately, we’ll have Michelle Obama to bring the messiah down to earth with her ongoing attempts to humanize him. First, she told us that he’s “snorey and stinky,” then that he leaves the butter out and can’t make the bed. In the family interview, Michelle and the girls pointed out Obama’s unstylish shoes, a worn-out belt and pants he’s had for 12 years. Coming soon as first lady: “You know, he’s got holes in his underwear – and will you look at that booger hanging off his nose! Just try counting the dandruff on that greasy head.” (Think of all the missed campaign slogans: “Send B.O. to the White House!” “America Deserves B.O.” “B.O. is for Me!”) Michelle’s scrutiny may have prompted Barack to choose Joe Biden, who last year affirmed, “You got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean.”

In the event Obama does not win, his followers could repeat the Kenyan model, in which a presidential candidate whom Obama campaigned for, Raila Odinga, didn’t win but had his supporters go on a killing rampage until Odinga was made prime minister in a power-sharing arrangement.

Now, if there’s one thing that communist and secular Muslim dictatorships have in common with Islamists, it’s their loathing of the homosexual – despite the latter being such themselves. Openly gay people are not tolerated, and by supporting Obama, gays may be handing their conservative foes a victory unlike any imagined. Failing to recognize that it is their lot and luxury in life to rage against the white Christian society that allows them to, gays are opting to potentially unleash forces that, rather than argue, simply drop cement walls on them. Gays likewise will put up with persecution only from one of their own, as evidenced by their love of gay-loathing Arabia.

As someone who has nothing against any races, ethnicities or sexual orientations, I welcome a President Obama. After all, some of my best friends are anti-Semites. And just because the man surrounds himself with a multicultural cornucopia of Jew-haters doesn’t mean that he himself hates Jews. Apparently, he just didn’t know there was anything wrong with it.

On that note, look what Obama has accomplished with his candidacy alone: He has exposed just how many people here hate white people, America and Jews (they see in Obama the chance to change America’s “pro-Israel” policy and finally deliver us from the Holy Land). Indeed, all I ever asked was for people to be candid about these things rather than hide behind “enlightened” politics. Now, thanks to the unflinching support for Barack Obama, whose anti-America, anti-Israel, anti-white, anti-capitalist alliances have been brought to light, we can all see where we stand. This is a momentous time in American history indeed. That’s why this election year I’m going to do the typical Jewish thing and vote with Hezbollah. (My fellow Jews – whom do you want answering the phone at 3 a.m. – Obama or McCain – to decide whether to press the red button and nuke Israel?)

Candidate Obama has also managed to expose the extent of racism in this country. The racists give themselves away by mentally blocking out any compromising information about Obama. It has to be THIS black man and NOW – because apparently no other suitable black man will come along. So they’re settling for one who is 50 percent white and possibly only 6 percent black. That his Kenyan side is descended from slave traders shows how far we’ve come, America: 360 degrees.

They say you’re racist if you don’t vote for Barack Obama. But all the racists I know about are voting for Barack Obama. (Whom do you think “Seinfeld’s” Michael Richards will be voting for after his N-word tirade last year? The white guy?) Indeed, Obama offers absolution for racists everywhere.

The Obama candidacy has also achieved outing “Republican” Colin Powell as just another socialist brotha from the ‘hood, his endorsement also shedding light on Powell’s friendship with Saudi Prince Bandar, who bought Powell’s wife a Jaguar. Which begs the question: If I’m not friends with people who use the N-word, why is Colin Powell friends with Jew-killers? Like I said, all the racists are voting for Obama.

Obama has downplayed the white side of his family, but as president he can make it up to us “typical white folks,” as he calls the half of his family that raised him when the black half took off. If he is truly egalitarian, since Obama spent the first half of his life being black, he should spend the second half being white. Because right now, he ain’t representin’.

Especially since his father was the black parent while his mother was white. So, according to Jewish law, he’s white.

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