Relocate Gitmo – to Hyde Park!

As you read this, I am on my way to a super-secret location – and it’s not Vice President Cheney’s bunker. My nonprofit group, Move America Forward, is on the tail end of its Honoring Heroes for the Holidays II tour in which we traveled the country and held rallies to thank our troops for their sacrifices.

Patriots came out to our stops and sponsored care packages and sent personal messages to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. This is especially important during the Christmas holidays when the troops are thousands of miles away from their homes.

So now we’re headed to visit with troops and thank them personally. I wish I could tell you where we are going, but security concerns won’t allow me. I hate keeping secrets around Christmastime.

Let’s move on. But make sure to tune in next week so I can tell you about our visit with American heroes. For now, let’s talk about Guantanamo Bay, which was back in the news this week when Cheney defended the prison for terrorists.

Whiners on the left have complained about the Bush administration’s use of Gitmo and some of the interviewing techniques used on the terrorists held in the Cuba prison. Even President Bush said in 2005 he might close Gitmo. It was a weak moment. Cheney has held the line, saying the prison is appropriate for the terrorists who started a war with the United States in earnest when they launched the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

The base at Guantanamo is a perfect place for terrorists. In fact, it’s too good. The weather is nice, the prisoners eat better than they did in the caves of Afghanistan, and they have government-issued Qurans and prayer rugs. Most importantly, these beasts aren’t out plotting another 9/11 or trying to kill Americans or other innocents.

Prisoners held at Gitmo on average gain 15 pounds, while our troops are traversing frozen mountains and eating canned meals, when available. The United States has even had to buy them bigger pants because they got so fat on their Gitmo meals.

“They can garden,” said Maj. Kyndra Rotunda, according to Ronald Kessler. “They can check out videos. They can take classes in English or in their native language. There are all kinds of sports. They get a selection of Nike tennis shoes to choose from.”

As Muslims, detainees receive halal meals.

“The average detainee has gained about 15 pounds,” Rotunda says. “Detainees are very picky. Like if there’s a piece of fruit that has a bruise or is at all bad, they send it back, and the military just takes it back and gives them something a little fresher.”

Sounds like pure torture.

Cheney this week warned President-elect Barack Obama to think hard and long before closing Gitmo.

“What are you going to do with those prisoners?” Cheney said in a television interview. “I don’t know any other nation in the world that would do what we’ve done in terms of taking care of people who are avowed enemies.”

How could Cheney say such a thing? Think of the care terrorists took with the Americans they beheaded. It could have been worse, right? The terrorists could have fed the men through huge shredders feet first, just like Saddam Hussein did when he ran Iraq.

Cheney also said that waterboarding isn’t torture and the United States used it appropriately when interrogating the mastermind of 9/11, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. The nerve of Cheney! I remember being held under water while roughhousing with other kids, and it is torture. How could anybody think that it’s OK to do such a thing to Mohammed? After all, he only helped murder 3,000 innocents on Sept. 11.

Of all the things the Bush-haters have complained about since he took office, the most ludicrous is the treatment of terrorists at Guantanamo Bay. Liberals will do and say anything as long as it is directed at somebody with an R behind his name. That includes arguing for the release of terrorists, or bringing them from Cuba to the United States where they can have a great defense by some Ivy-League-trained lawyer. Speaking of which, it is now consider chic to have your own sheik to defend from Gitmo. Big-name lawyers from around the world are lining up like jumbo jets to land a terrorist for a client. I am glad to see that Freedom for the Defense of Democracy is now filing amicus briefs for the actual victims of terrorism, whose killers are now residing in air-conditioned cells in Cuba.

If Obama does close Gitmo, I hope he will be a real good host and invite the terrorists to live with him and his radical friends where he can feed them arugula. Chicago’s Hyde Park is a nice neighborhood, from what I hear. Terrorist-to-terrorist block parties could be the next cool thing. Bill Ayers has so much to learn about security, and so many excellent teachers could become available very shortly!

Cheney is absolutely correct in his defense of America’s detainee camp at Gitmo. Since the first days of America, this country has held enemy combatants in prisons until the war was over.

This war is long from over. Obama knows it.

I agree that it would be nice to close Gitmo, but only after every terrorist who wants to hurt Americans or other innocents is safely burning in the hottest corner of hell.

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