Well, folks, we’ve made it to 2009. This past year was a real stinker as far as politics go. Conservatives were stuck in the mud and liberals pulled off a real hat trick by electing Barack Obama, buddy of terrorists, hateful preachers and other enemies of the state. But, hey, we’ve got change.
I’m a glass-half-full gal, so I want to point out the good things that happened in 2008. Comic relief is in order, which is why I have researched my favorite stupid liberal quotes and offer them to you today. Most come from President-elect Obama, which is only fair because he is The One. The quotes also give insight into the alleged brilliant mind of Obama.
Don’t let these quotes scare you. I’m sure they were all just little slip-ups, nothing that would point to a really ignorant guy with no executive experience who will soon command the country’s armed forces.
Obama promises to approach foreign policy in a new way. But he might want to get down the basics on the United States before sitting down for a chat with Iran President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad .
Enjoy.
10. At a campaign event in Oregon, Barack Obama said, “I’ve now been in 57 states – I think one left to go.”
The campaign trail can be exhausting. I’m sure that Obama simply counted some states twice. For example, he may have split Pennsylvania into two states: the one that loves race-baiter Rep. John Murtha, who has slandered our Marines and called western Pennsylvanians “racists.” The other Pennsylvania actually has thoughtful, intelligent people. So you can see how Obama could count the state twice.
9. During a visit to Siderot, Israel, Obama said: Just this past week, we passed out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee – which is my committee – a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don’t obtain a nuclear weapon.
The problem is that Obama did not serve on this committee. Again, this was a case of confusion. He was actually referring to his personal Senate Banking Committee, which is comprised of his wife and him. He figured he could hold back any cash (with the help of some Chicago politicians) that might end up in Iran, and tell Ahmadinejad that he was playing hardball.
8. Speaking of Mrs. Obama, she said: “For the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change.”
Come on, can you blame Michelle? She and her husband had been closeted up with terrorist William Ayers and that nutcase Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The fresh air and distance from these fruitcakes would make anybody feel proud.
7. Democrats were ecstatic about Obama’s campaign. Rep. Steve Cohen, Democrat from Memphis, Tenn., said: “If you want change, you want the Democrat Party. Barack Obama was a community organizer like Jesus, who our minister just prayed about. Pontius Pilate was a governor.”
See, there was no choice. Vote for Jesus or the one who condemned the Son of God.
6. Obama was, of course, much more humble. He said, “It’s above my pay-grade” when asked about when human life begins.
Duh. What do we expect of the guy, that he’s Jesus or something? Never mind our elementary school biology books that told us about how the sperm and egg meet and how all the unique DNA of the human exists after the pairing.
5. Even though Obama was the messiah to liberal voters, he was still having trouble with some folks. He said: “It’s not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.”
Give the guy a break. So what if he forgot about his days allegedly teaching constitutional law? Only rednecks know that they have a right to their guns and religious freedom. Good liberals know the guns are only for their bodyguards and religious freedom is only for the terrorists at Guantanamo Bay.
4. Then there was some confusion about Obama’s grandma. He said: “The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn’t. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn’t know, you know, there’s a reaction that’s been bred in our experiences that don’t go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that’s just the nature of race in our society.”
Right, typical white people, like all of those who voted for Obama. They overcame their fear of people they didn’t know and voted for Obama and his vice presidential pick, Joe Biden – who apparently is not a typical white person.
3. Speaking of Biden, he said: “When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.'”
OK, so he was wrong about FDR being president when the market crashed. Even I get confused about what liberal is in charge when the misery index shoots through the roof. I’m sure that Biden confused the television with the radio because he always has a little picture running in his head that looks like a TV. It’s a defense mechanism, kind of an invisible friend that gives him comfort. Besides, Biden’s expertise is in foreign policy, which is why he came up with the idea to split Iraq into three countries.
2. At least Biden and Obama don’t see unidentified flying objects, like Dennis Kucinich, who said, “It was an unidentified flying object, OK? It’s, like, it’s unidentified.”
Easy on the little guy, OK? He was with Shirley MacLaine when he had his close encounter. She was a witness. If Shirley says it’s true, well …
1. Obama did not choose Kucinich as the secretary of defense of UFOs. That’s because Obama is the man. He is, well, here’s how Biden introduced him: “A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next president of the United States – Barack America!”
There we have it. Nothing to worry about folks. Barack America is on the job!
