 Alcatraz |
When I heard the possibilities that the terrorist detention camp at Guantanamo Bay Naval Base (Gitmo) might move to Alcatraz Island in the middle of the San Francisco Bay, I got excited. Ideas from economic stimuli to renewed patriotism starting flooding my mind.
Here are the top 10 reasons why I believe Gitmo should be moved to Alcatraz:
10. D-Block. Not the hip-hop group, but the row of solitary confinement cells at Alcatraz. Need I say more? (Of course, “Gitmo and the Golden Gates” might make a No. 1 rap song too.)
9. It is rumored that “Dirty Harry” (Clint Eastwood’s once notorious tough San Francisco cop character) still roams the cabled-car streets with his 44 magnum. Would terrorists really try to escape with him across the bay? Do they feel that lucky? Well, do they?
8. It will give Congress something better on which to spend those hundreds of billions of dollars in bailout monies than on the absolute wastes for more Wall Street bonuses and partisan pork.
7. My buddy the Governator needs a bailout, and the new “Hasta la vista Alcatraz tour” should be a gigantic boost for California tourism.
6. It’s about time for a sequel to “Escape from Alcatraz,” called “Bet your a** that you better stay on ‘The Rock.'”
5. Tony Bennett wants to produce his new smash single, “I left my terrorist in San Francisco.”
4. The only text in the prison library and school would be my latest book, “Black Belt Patriotism: How to Reawaken America,” with daily memory tests to recite the appendices containing the Declaration of Independence, our Constitution and the Ten Commandments.
3. Because Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., was a big advocate for Gitmo’s closing, and being that her district includes Alcatraz Island, let her deal with its aftermath. Pelosi could even help guard the captives with binoculars from her San Francisco skyrise.
2. Recently commuted border agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Alonso Compean need new jobs – and are willing to train and head up Alcatraz’s new teams of correctional officers.
1. I’m volunteering to be the new warden, and I pledge to make “The Rock” a Chucktatorship.
Are you with me?
All joking aside, remember when America used be known as being tough and compassionate? Will we now polarize from water boarding to being pantywaists?
Do most really believe it makes sense to shut down Gitmo for world adulation, while we possibly put Americans at greater risk by relocating these jihadists within our borders?
Is Time serious when it suggests six possible domestic military facilities from New York City to San Diego as the new home for these enemies of the state?
Was Rep. John Murtha, D-Penn., serious when he told Fox News last week that he’d offer his own district as a future dwelling place for the 245 Gitmo terrorist detainees, saying “Sure, I’d take them. They’re no more dangerous in my district than in Guantanamo. … There’s no reason not to put them in prisons in the United States and handle them the way they would handle any other prisoners”?
Do Americans really want those like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the mastermind of 9/11, on our soil?!
In Robert Spencer’s excellent new book, “Stealth Jihad,” he documents well how radical Islam is subverting America via intentional and pervasive subtleties throughout our culture. Rather than crashing our buildings with planes, they’re right now permeating every stratum of society, using our tolerance and passivity. Rather than overpowering America through combat, they are convincing Americans of all ages by saturating the soils of our minds that there is nothing to fear from extremist Islamic theology or presence. Our universally accommodative spirit is literally opening the doors for those who seek to destroy us, and Gitmo is just one more proof of that. We’ve shifted from protecting Americans to defending the terrorists.
While we worry about the way the rest of the world sees us, we are stomping upon souls of Americans. Have we forgotten so quickly? Can our politicians not see? Gitmo’s closing and future location reflects upon the families and friends of those precious souls who have sacrificed everything on the battlefields of the Middle East, in the Twin Towers, on Flight 93 and at the Pentagon. We’ve memorialized their sacrifices – let’s not bury their memory.
Let’s curb the kangaroo court of anonymous sources
Tim Graham