Oh ‘Bama, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

My friends all drive Priuses, I must make amends.

Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,

So ‘Bama, won’t you buy me a Mercedes-Benz?

– with apologies to Janis Joplin

Condoms for Africa. Abortions for Europe. More loans and bailouts for corrupt financial institutions and failed manufacturers. Yeah, baby! That’ll stimulate the economy.

America has nobody but itself to blame. A corrupt Chicago illegal alien as president. A Supreme Court that can’t find its copy of the Constitution. And a House and Senate full of Democrat lawyers. Just what did you think would happen?

How do lawyers make their money? They use the laws they’ve written to take it away from somebody else! And when you elected them to Congress, you thought that would change? Has your spouse stopped beating you yet?

Few things are more pathetic or telling about Obama supporters than the adoring fans in Florida, asking the new president for a home, a kitchen, or driving-around gas money. (I guess that’s the after-election equivalent of the walking-around money Democrats use to buy votes before the election.)

Once again, what did you expect would happen? From Head Start to graduate school, you send your kids to socialist public educational institutions that get their money how? By taking it away from somebody else. (Don’t believe me? Try not paying for public schools the next time your property tax bill arrives.)

Not only that, but socialist public schools demand control over your kids, even if you send them elsewhere or homeschool them. (Vouchers? No, comrade. The money all belongs to us! Your children belong to us!) How did you expect your kid to turn out?

Is little Janie going to get a new kitchen by making cookies and pies that everybody wants to buy? I don’t think so! Little Janie is going to do exactly what she has seen every adult in her life do – play the victim and whine and cry until somebody else gives her the money. (These “givers” never give their own money, of course. That would make them philanthropists.)

Why do you think so much of the underdeveloped world is the way that it is? “Oh, goodie! Our guy won the election! Now we get to divide up the pie!”

Well, it’s your socialist paradise. The communist morons you’ve elected have two years to enact the Unfairness Doctrine and quash dissent. After all, the communist doctrine of fairness demands that all government-approved viewpoints receive equal time. For a picture of how this works in practice, check out the public schools and colleges on free speech. “Free speech? Isn’t that where we make somebody else pay for what we want to say?”

The Chicago thugs that you’ve elected are already taking control of the 2010 census, to insure that every illegal alien and Obama voter is counted as many times as it takes to insure a permanent majority of socialist morons. The $4 billion stimulus to ACORN should insure that they all get registered, under as many names as necessary, too. And motor voter means that they can use their driving-around gas money to vote in as many places as need be to win.

It’s change you can believe in. And it’s precisely what you would expect from Chicago politicians. So, what were you thinking?

You have a year to come to your senses. After the 2010 mid-term elections, it will be too late. And if you want to look 10 years down the road after that, just read the news from once-great Britain. (Oh, sorry! Failed socialist basket cases are not on the government-approved reading list.)

If you’re happy begging someone else for a piece of the permanently shriveling pie, then bon appetit! This one’s for you.

If you’d like to invent new widgets or bake cookies or pies that other people want to buy, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Socialism and communism always end in tyranny, scarcity and tears. Why? Because eventually the pie becomes too small to divide.


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