Comedian Wanda Sykes headlined Saturday night’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner in Washington, D.C., and, like some of her predecessors, walked a tightrope without a net – the difference being that her rope was only three inches off the ground.
The White House correspondents’ dinner traditionally features a headlining comedian who usually makes jokes at the expense of the president and/or his staff who are looking on helplessly like sitting ducks. The most cutting of these in recent memory were Stephen Colbert in 2006, and Don Imus ripping apart the Clintons back in 1996.
But since Obama has been president, there’s been a distinct lack of any comedian brave enough to directly mock The One. Sure, comedians poke fun of some innocent ancillary stuff (Biden’s hair, teleprompters, etc.), but Obama is rarely directly the butt of the joke. On Saturday night, Wanda Sykes did little to alter this tradition.
Sykes’ most “vicious” material about Obama were jokes that made a Nerf ball seem cutting edge – a light-hearted jab at the fact that he’s “half-black” and saying Obama is so accessible that rappers give him their demos – otherwise the barbs were aimed at the GOP, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, who Sykes accused of “treason.”
The only joke ABC Radio played during a news break about the dinner was one about Dick Cheney.
It’s not that there’s a lack of material on Obama, but rather a lack of will to use it. “Never bite the hand that may someday control your industry” and all that.
Here are some jokes I wanted to hear Saturday night, but it was just wishful thinking:
“Sorry I’m late … Louis Caldera was my cabbie and he thought it would be a good idea to drive me by the Statue of Liberty for a photo-op.”
“Incidentally, Caldera was also going to be the person who ordered the Navy SEALS to rescue Captain Phillips from the Somali pirates if that had turned out badly.”
“In an effort to ensure that any terror suspects killed under orders of the administration is completely legal in the eyes of the president, ‘killed terrorists’ will now be referred to as ‘really late-term abortions.'”
“The White House says that the president had no prior knowledge of that 747 buzzing of Manhattan. Is it really a good idea to entrust our national security to somebody who can’t even install The Club on his own jet?”
“This isn’t the first time Barack Obama has denied any knowledge of a New York City buzz – the first being the time he smoked a joint with William Ayers at ’21.'”
“And I don’t know about you, but I sleep better at night knowing that a White House aide can scramble F-16s without anybody else knowing about it. This way, if a war breaks out while Obama’s teleprompter is unplugged, somebody can still order planes to bomb New York to appease an enemy like at the end of Fail-Safe.”
“If you’re wondering why the president is in a good mood, it’s because he’s glad to be finished with his annual physical. During his colonoscopy doctors removed two benign polyps and the White House Press Corps.”
“Last evening I took a walk through the cemetery – or as ACORN calls it, a ‘recruiting trip.'”
“Things are getting weirder and weirder. Barack Obama is now running an auto company, and this morning I read that Lee Iacocca is taking over control of the Black Panthers.”
“President Obama said he’s going to take care of all Americans just like he takes care of his own family. It’s comforting to know that the worst that can happen to us now is ending up homeless in Kenya.”
“Michelle Obama is also here tonight. The first lady just taped an episode of ‘Sesame Street’ but walked off the set after seeing a segment featuring the Count holding photos of Barack’s cabinet members and saying, ‘Two … two tax cheats. Ah Ah Ah. Three … three tax cheats. Ah Ah Ah …'”
“In closing, I’d like to say thank you to the man who is responsible for all this. I’d like to, but George Soros isn’t here tonight. They don’t let George and Barack in the same room anymore because the last time they did, Joe Biden got tangled up in the puppet strings.”
Just file these under “jokes you’ll never hear at a White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner” for at least the next several years.