Obama expects us to believe …

Let me get this straight – so far, President Obama expects us to believe …

… that he's a devout Christian who went to a Christian church for 20 years and never heard about anything his reverend was saying.

… that he announced his first political campaign in the home William Ayers but didn't know anything at all about Ayers' terrorist past.

… that he's highly attentive and detail oriented.

… that forcing our way of life on people from other countries is wrong, but the first thing that should be done with captured "man caused disaster" suspects should be to shove U.S. constitutional dogma down their throats via reading them Miranda rights.

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… that he recited his wedding vows without a teleprompter.

… that some of the greatest advances in the history of civilization have come from areas of the world where they still stone women to death for the crime of being raped, have a high infant mortality and poverty rates, don't allow women to have any rights, wipe with their bare hands and hang homosexual people.

… that one of his prime duties as president is to defend Islam against negative stereotypes wherever they appear – especially from greedy, oppressive, racist, capitalist pig, white conservatives.

… that what makes America great is that anybody, regardless of race or economic background, can rise to a position to dismantle what makes America great.

… that a White House aide (Louis Caldera, code name "Fall Guy") can approve a 747's photo-op over New York City.

… that the best defense is a good offensive against your defense.

… that it shouldn't seem strange in the least that Gitmo should be closed because it harms the U.S. image in the eyes of other countries, but the detainees shouldn't be sent back to some of those same countries because they'll be tortured and killed by those whose approval we so desperately seek.

… that a man with a stated goal of wiping Israel from the map should be allowed to pursue a nuclear program because he only wants to heat up his Lean Cuisine.

… that "yes we can!" is a viable foreign policy, and "no you can't!" is an inspirational domestic policy.

… that the best equipped people to run the auto industry are those who have no experience in the auto industry.

… that the best equipped people to run the banking industry are those who have plenty of experience in losing money.

… that a good way to raise troop morale is to tell them they're risking their lives based on a lie.

… that the only way to repair an economy ravaged by excessive government spending is through excessive government spending.

… that it's a good idea that a minor not be allowed to get a credit card without parental approval but for that same kid to be allowed to get an abortion without parental notification.

… that make-work jobs created on borrowed and stolen money can stimulate an economy.

… that a rising unemployment rate means that the government needs to speed up its hiring process.

… that allowing the same entity that has sickened everything it's touched in the last few months control the entire health care system will make Americans healthier.

… that being equally ill is preferable to be unequally healthy.

… that a president with a homeless, poverty-stricken brother and an aunt living in the country illegally telling Americans that he'll treat them like family should be received as good news.

… that "socialism" cannot be socialism if we all agree that it isn't – collectively.

And if Obama believed that lots of people would believe all this, I believe he was, unfortunately, correct.