Iran has tea party, Obama not thirsty

As the governing body of Iran slaughtered unarmed protesters, a skateboarder rolled through hallways of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue (marking the first time in months a Hawk has been in the White House) and Barack Obama was praised for skillfully killing a fly, the president managed to eke out an ignorant and/or purposefully misleading statement on the Iranian unrest – in between frozen custards of course:

The Iranian government must understand that the world is watching. We mourn each and every innocent life that is lost. We call on the Iranian government to stop all violent and unjust actions against its own people. The universal rights to assembly and free speech must be respected, and the United States stands with all who seek to exercise those rights. …

Tough as liquid nails, eh? "We've got Twitter and we know how to use it, buddy!"

The rest of Obama's statement is here. Iran could get around the "innocent life that is lost" part by referring to their dustup operation as "super late-term abortions."

Did you know there are "universal rights"? I didn't. Our government can't manage to adhere to the rights contained in our own Constitution anymore, but it can whip up a fresh batch of rights for the entire universe?

What Obama's statement seems to imply – either by naiveté of biblical (or Koranical) proportions, or by "strange bedfellows" empathy with the ruling Iranian clerics – is that a totalitarian theocracy can remain a totalitarian theocracy as long as it can bite its tongue long enough to allow people to complain in the streets. It's in this kind of defense of freedom that oppression metastasizes.

Another reason I believe Obama has refused to speak out more on this is pure conjecture on my part, but I have a suspicion that those protesters in Iran remind Obama just a little too much of American tea partiers, and so, ultimately, there is no love lost there. Couple that with accusations of election fraud in Iran (how do you say ACORN in Farsi?), and it isn't difficult to see why Obama is less than enthusiastic about addressing this particular "problem."

Obama also has to be sure not to damage the façade that an overbearing, dominant, intrusive form of government can exist hand-in-hand with freedom and human rights if it's done properly – because to do so would be to saw off the same branch upon which he's trying to sit his presidency.

The current administration's message to Iranians seeking justice is clear: You're on your own! If Obama were president during the Tiananmen Square massacre, the workable "middle ground" proposal would have been to ask the Chinese government to put safety padding on their tanks.

Can you imagine applying the Obama approach to other pivotal moments in history?

Obama as Ronald Reagan: Mr. Gorbachev, this wall, with the weather conditions around here and because of global warming, will eventually fall on its own.

Obama as Winston Churchill: We shall fight on the beaches; we shall fight in the fields and in the streets; we shall fight on the landing grounds; we shall fight in the hills – we shall never surrender our quest for national health care. The Germans? That's a sovereign nation and that's their own business…

Obama as JFK: Eich bin ein community organizer!

Obama as FDR: I ask that the Congress declare that, since Japan showed their displeasure with the U.S. on Sunday, December 7th, a state of intense negotiations now exists between the United States and Japan. As Americans we must look toward ourselves and take an honest personal inventory to find out what we did to so anger another member of the international community.

Obama as Gen. Douglas MacArthur: I shall return … for the rest of your money.

If only we could convince Obama to view enemies of freedom with at least half as much disdain as he does flies that land on him.