CAIR's good idea

Editor's note: Michael Ackley's columns may include satire and parody based on current events, and thus mix fact with fiction. He assumes informed readers will be able to tell which is which.

Well, God bless the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

CAIR's plan to distribute copies of the Quran to 100,000 political leaders may be the most positive thing the organization could do to promote an understanding of Islam in the United States.

We only hope the politicians and civic leaders who receive the book will read it from cover to cover. If they do, they will find it is far different in character from the Bible of Christians and Jews, the work that provided the moral foundation for the United States of America.

For one thing, the Quran, despite its djinn and its perpetual virgins, is much less entertaining. While the Bible in various places reports the "Word of God" and His moods ("very wroth," etc.), it is largely a history. The Old Testament starts "In the beginning," as Genesis provides the chronology of creation. Then the book moves through the generations of the early patriarchs and their offspring, and on to the wanderings, triumphs and tribulations of the Israelite tribes.

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From reading it we learn, for example, that these post-Exodus desert brigands would leave you alone – unless you had something they wanted. In such a case, the chosen people would choose to take the object of their desire. There's lots of intrigue, blood and sex.

The New Testament differs in that Matthew, Mark, Luke and John convey the history of one man, Jesus of Nazareth, relating what he did and what he said.

In contrast to the major subdivisions of the Bible, the Quran, from start to finish, purports to be the word of God, as transmitted to Muhammad by the archangel Gabriel. (It is unclear why God chose the archangel as intermediary, when he could have gone the route of the burning bush.)

Interestingly, in his chats with the prophet, Gabriel does relatively little by way of laying down the law. He says, in essence, that was taken care of earlier, via Abraham, Moses, etc. If you conclude this leaves us with the Torah, well, there you are.

The god of the Quran isn't much of a literary stylist (even accounting for the challenges of translation) and has quite a short memory. Failing to recall what he already has conveyed, he repeats himself via Gabriel ad nauseam, particularly about the incendiary fate of unbelievers.

Take out the disquisitions on the torments awaiting the infidel on the last day, and you'd be left with a greatly reduced volume. As it is, the Quran may be the most invidious work you'll ever read. (We must admit we've never slogged our way through "Mein Kampf.") From the Muslims we know who are sweet and gentle people, we must conclude there must be more of uplift in Islam's Hadith, but the foundational word from Gabriel is lacking in this regard.

American leaders receiving the book from CAIR may take heart from verses declaring "let there be no compulsion in religion" and promising a "reward with their lord" for Jews, Christians and Sabeites. However, they very likely will be taken aback by the more sanguinary passages, and by God's countenancing of looting, slavery and what amounts to rape. Those with enlightened views of the sexes will be offended by its explicit subordination of women. The Quran's defenders say that, well, you can find anything you want in the Bible, too. But history is history; the literal word of God is something else again.

Taking the book together with Islam's blood-soaked record, American leaders may find the Quran something of a downer, but we agree with CAIR: They ought to read it. It will help them understand Islam's appeal to backward, patriarchal, woman-fearing societies, like those of Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Nigeria, Sudan …

Well, they can make their own lists of nations where Islam predominates. They can decide for themselves whether Islam's mix of religion and government comports with American values.