Now Obama wants your IRA

The Democrat version of Hope and Change is very simple: You get the hope, we keep the change.

Changes are afoot for your IRA, SEP or 401(k). The Democrats have emptied the public piggy bank, petitioned the Federal Reserve for zero-interest loans, and now they're coming for what's left of your retirement.

Of course, their motive is compassion. You listened to the evil Wall Street stockbrokers and investment bankers (you know, the ones that donate so heavily to Democratic candidates), and now your retirement fund has plummeted in value, while your home is worth less than you owe. But fear not! We have a plan.

It's really very simple. Just give us the money. In return, we will give you our best promise to pay. (That would be Treasury IOUs. You know – the same ones they've already "invested" your Social Security payments in while they've spent them as general revenue, and which now have to be repaid by ordinary taxpayers – which would be you.)

Now, why would big ol' Uncle Sam want my poor little IRA? Could it be that somebody in Washington, D.C., knows the market is not going to let them borrow enough money – at an interest rate they can afford – to fulfill their grandiose plans for Utopia on the Potomac?

Could it be that China has already told Obama, "Thanks, but no thanks. We already own enough Treasuries. You can't afford what you want, and we're not going to pay for it."

Could it be that government prognosticators have looked at the soggy green tea leaves in Obama's cup and concluded that Jimmy Carter's 17.5 percent home mortgages are already "in the pipeline"? (That is what I paid on my first condominium mortgage. "Welcome back from overseas, soldier. And thank you for your service. Care for a peanut?")

Yesiree! When you're broke, nobody will lend you any more money, and those who already have are clamoring for a payment, well – that $3.6 trillion in private IRA accounts must look mighty attractive! Heck – that's enough to pay for the next three years of the Obama presidency!

Your IRA Treasury "investment" would be paid back slowly, over time, to provide a constant income. It's just like an insurance company annuity, except Congress writes the contract, and they can change it at any time.

Our private retirement turns out to be yet one more thing we can foist on the next generation, having aborted 40 million of them, diluted their education to catchy phrases, spent their inheritance and mortgaged their future. Yeah, man! They owe us! Let's make them pay our private retirement in addition to our Social Security. Yeah! Do it for to the children!

Let me tell you how that generation's going to respond. It's called euthanasia. But before we go, this Congress is going to go! It may take citizen patrols around election polling places to deter the Democrats' voter intimidation, union thuggery, illegal voters and Chicago cemetery corpses. And when that's done, then we'll have a nice, quiet conversation with the Democrat left about payback.