Has the LSD caught up to Paul McCartney?

This article is going to hurt me more than it hurts you, I promise. Paul McCartney has been a hero of mine for as long as I can remember. I've listened to his songs and watched every Beatles movie ever made, but when I heard what Paul said concerning global warming and the oil spill, the record scratched. Sir Paul said, "Sadly, we need disasters like this to show people. Some people don't believe in climate warming – like those who don't believe there was a Holocaust." Oh Paul, I don't want to set you straight, but you leave me no choice. It's nothing personal.

Much of his reaction to the oil spill is irrational and thoughtless. McCartney is trying to link that disaster to climate change, which is completely absurd. Climate change did not cause the oil rig to explode, and it's not causing the oil to spill profusely into the ocean. The spill is not related to the millions of cars on the highway and is not a reflection of how many toilet-paper squares I use daily. It was a HUGE accident. Someone somewhere didn't do his job. It just so happens that this "someone" is an entire corporation. Maybe the Left needs disasters like this so they can capitalize on the calamity, but I'm certain the rest of us don't need millions of gallons of oil spilling into the Gulf just to make a point. I'd like to think we're better than that.

What has this spill shown us that we didn't already know? It doesn't take a rocket scientist or rock star to realize oil and water don't mix. And we didn't need it to open our eyes. Has the LSD finally caught up to the old man, or is he just senile? Where was he 30 years ago with this global-warming mumbo jumbo? Oh yeah, he was tripping out on acid with the rest of the Fab 4. This was a horrible disaster that affects every one of us, and for anyone to use this devastation as a soapbox for a "global warming" speech is just nauseating. Who is he to get all smug about the spill, as if he knew this would happen? Paul McCartney is not an expert; he's a singer/songwriter listening to Al Gore cry all day. I'd follow Joy Behar before following McCartney, and you know how I feel about her.

See the full documentation explaining how your life could be changed by climate-related laws, taxes and regulations: "Climategate: A Veteran Meteorologist Exposes The Global Warming Scam"

McCartney's razor-sharp advice for BP went something like this: "If the president of the country you spilled oil in tells you off, then you've just got to take it or say, 'I'm really sorry, we'll clean it up and pay for it all by next week.'" Great advice, McCartney – did your 4-year-old inner child help out with that? This is why celebrities that know absolutely nothing about anything should keep their mouths shut. Does he really think this can all be fixed with money? We don't even know how extensive the damage will be because the oil is still flowing, so how can we put a price on it, let alone a deadline?

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Now it's time to address the most mind-boggling part of Sir Paul's climate-change sob story. Never in my life did I think I'd be compared to someone who denies the Holocaust. For one thing, the Holocaust was the single most disgusting and humiliating event that the human race has ever endured. We have physical evidence that millions of people were murdered at the hand of Nazis, so for anyone to deny that piece of history is just ridiculous. As for global warming, every one of the supposed facts and figures that has been presented to me has been circumstantial at best. Do you think a picture of a polar bear on an icecap is going to make me a believer, especially after the tyrannical anthropogenic-global-warming "experts" were exposed as frauds? And don't try to sell me on the animals that are covered in oil now. Like I said before, global warming had nothing to do with the rig explosion. So where does McCartney get off comparing me to a Holocaust denier? Just because I use a sanitary amount of TP doesn't make me crazy. As soon as I see one shred of evidence that hasn't been manipulated by the Left and indicates global warming as an actual occurrence, I'll use one square … I swear.

McCartney's comparison of these two unrelated events reminds me how delusional most liberals really are and how far they're willing to go to push their agenda. The Left is using this oil spill, which is still spewing thousands of gallons into the Gulf every day, as a propeller for their green propaganda. If any of them had an ounce of common sense, they'd shut McCartney up before he makes them look worse – though I don't know how much worse it could get. His theory is about as confusing as "Hello Goodbye." Honestly, why is he saying hello when you're saying goodbye? Wrap your head around that.

This week's dose of honesty: We should focus on cleaning up the spill and plugging the leak before we talk about future green initiatives. People who don't buy into the "climate change" bologna are nowhere near Holocaust deniers on the sanity scale. We don't need McCartney to deliver the liberal "I told you so." Didn't they learn their lesson from Shakira and Sting? Celebrities need to stick to what they do best. There's no need to offer your advice on such complex issues. Besides, the last person I'd take seriously is the man who sang about kaleidoscope eyes and thinks he's "the walrus." … goo goo ga joob.