Keep your filthy mitts off of me

I guess I lucked out. I flew through three airports 10 days ago and was only "patted down" once. It was at Tucson International.

It wasn't one of the new "let me grope you" routines the TSA requires, but it was annoying enough.

In retrospect, it was probably part of the move to accustom us to what is a gross invasion of privacy – a demeaning and insulting procedure the government clearly hopes we'll accept like sheep and just, shut up.

In a way, that's what I did, because it happened so quickly.

I got through the checkpoint – shoes and jacket off, belongings in plastic bins and through the metal detector. No problem, but suddenly, the large, officious female TSA agent standing there stepped in front of me and started to check me out.

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She didn't say a word, didn't ask, didn't tell – just did it. She ran her hands over my arms, back, chest and stomach.

I suspect my shirt was too loose and she had to check that I didn't have a bomb tucked somewhere.

It happened so fast that I didn't object. Not that it would have done any good.

And that's exactly what the feds want. Don't object, question or refuse.

I was searched once before, at Oakland International. The agent passed a wand over my body and limbs. There was no hand to body touching.

But this was different, and all I could think of was that she was wearing plastic gloves as she touched me.

She wore gloves to protect her from dirt and germs from the people and property touched during a shift.

Presumably, after hours of that, the gloves get dirty and germy and then, she ran those filthy gloves all over my body!

How many people and their personal items did she touch before she touched me?

I didn't want to think about it. It wasn't only invasive and insulting but clearly unsanitary.

I'd showered and put on clean clothes before I left for the airport and then this!

Why is it OK to keep her safe from germs but for me – or any passenger – it doesn't matter?

It was disgusting; as soon as I cleared security, I removed that shirt and wore a jacket.

Unfortunately, since then, TSA moved way beyond what I experienced. I've seen pictures of what people are enduring at U.S. airports, and it's appalling.

Agents now touch all parts of passengers' bodies – men, women and children. Their gloved hands touch clothing and bare skin, around the neck and shoulders, and pants bottoms and skirts. Private parts are nudged, groped and squeezed.

And regardless of what's touched, they don't change gloves between gropings.

In medical clinics, gloves are changed between patients. Why should this be any different?

Too expensive? Bull.

What if the passenger has a contagious skin condition or is coming down with a disease? Why is it OK for TSA to spread it to all passengers?

I think every passenger forced to undergo the grope should demand clean gloves be used.

Maybe we should pack disposable gloves we can give them to use. Would they refuse? If so, why?

TSA is backing off gropes of little children. The video of the 3-year-old girl screaming at the TSA agent – "Don't touch me. Take your hands off of me!" – forced a policy change.

But TSA will grope adolescents, 12 or older. Great, just what a girl in puberty needs – a stranger touching her breasts and genitals!

Then there was a nun forced to allow some uniformed stranger wearing plastic gloves kneel in front of her, lift her skirt and grope her, right to her genitals.

I was embarrassed for her, enduring that insult to her personal integrity – all in the name of "airport security."

Then again, she was a Christian, so it was OK. Clearly, it wouldn't have happened if the woman had been wearing a burqa.

What's TSA going to do about flying Muslims wearing traditional garb? CAIR has already said Muslims cannot undergo such screening – neither the naked body scanner or the euphemistically named "pat down,' which is nothing more than a vertical sexual assault as strangers are empowered to touch our bodies, look under our clothes, touch our private parts and even demand to see and touch medical prosthetics – including breast prostheses used by breast cancer survivors.

A Charlotte, N.C., flight attendant was required to take out her breast prosthesis and show it to the TSA inspector. The poor woman was devastated, yet TSA guidelines say agents can ask to see and touch any prosthetic device.

What if their "request" is refused?

Oh, that's not allowed.

It's interesting that the people complaining are passengers, politicians, a flight attendant's union, pilots unions and CAIR.

With all the threats about "not flying," you'd think the airlines would react since, if people really stop flying, they'll take a big financial hit.

Yet, they're strangely silent – then again, maybe it's not so strange. They remember the government takeover of troubled companies and fear that may be their future. It's not that farfetched.

Will all this prevent airline terrorism? No.

None of the screening checks body cavities where bombs fit nicely.

Then again, there is an easy way to check those places: bomb sniffing dogs.

Let's face it, dogs love sniffing crotches, and I'd rather that than some dirty-handed TSA agent groping me.

But there's a real problem. Muslims consider dogs dirty, and they would never allow a dog near them.

If only those Muslims so concerned about their religious rights could get their compatriots to stop using their religion as an excuse to kill non-Muslims, we could end the war on terrorism.

Oops, that's profiling isn't it?

You betcha!