Easter Bunny lays an egg

"Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail …"

Yes, Easter is on its way. And someone in Hollywood figured this would be a good time to make some movie bucks by delivering a basket full of fluff and candy that children would gobble up, while tossing in a marshmallow peep into the nostalgic '80s, enough to persuade parents to reminisce about their own childhood and thus consent to overdosing on the sugary, nutrition-less film called "Hop," while cleverly avoiding the reality that the studio actually … laid an egg.

And yes, if you detected a hint of cynicism toward the blatant commercialism and lack of creative vision behind "Hop," then your detector is working well.

Now, to be fair, the film has a few laugh-out-loud moments. Its basic messages are positive and uplifting – including self-sacrificial love, pursuing dreams, reconciliation between father and son and overcoming selfishness. The movie has a few things going for it and may be worth a giggle on the couch with Grandma and her three-year-old granddaughter.

But any film that features David Hasselhoff as the primary voice of conscience at the film's key moment … well, don't expect quality moviemaking. The script is uninspired and flavorless, the music is oddly intrusive, the plot has some significant rabbit holes in it and it just didn't pack enough laughs to be worth a grown-up's time.

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Speaking of grown-ups, however, the film does continue a theme so popular in Hollywood, that frankly, I'm beginning to grow offended.

As I wrote about in my reviews of "Fantastic Mr. Fox" and "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" – and evidenced in dozens of other films, such as "Barnyard," "Chicken Little" and "Journey to the Center of the Earth" – it appears Hollywood has a major father complex.

Again and again in these films, the central father-son relationship is marked by a dad who belittles his son for his dreams, calls him lazy and impractical and demands that the boy go out and get a "real job."

Seriously, did every scriptwriter in Hollywood grow up with the same kind of dad?

As a father myself, I'm tired of seeing dads portrayed as doofuses on sit-com television, men shown to be incompetent in movies and fathers everywhere deemed to be domineering, sneering, snide and condemning. Especially in children's movies, the prevailing theme seems to be, rather than "Father Knows Best," instead, "Junior Knows Best and Must Persuade Pops to Get a Clue."

It's an adolescent, rebellious spirit that's just a bit overdone, and frankly, I'm getting just a bit tired of it.

I mean, wouldn't the moms out there get irked if every other mother in the movies was a "Desperate Housewife"?

"Hop" continues this dad-bashing theme in not one, but two father-son relationships: one in the human, O'Hare family ("hare," get it?) and one in the Easter Bunny family.

"I called his dreams ridiculous," bemoans Easter Bunny Dad at one point, "what kind of father does that?"

"He expects so much," says Easter Bunny Son of his dad, "what's left but for me to let him down?"

Eventually, Easter Bunny Son – who has run away to become a rock star – and young Fred O'Hare – who has been drifting through his 20s without much direction – see the error of their ways, find their respective callings, defeat the bad guys and reconcile with their respective dads.

"Sometimes fathers just don't get it," O'Hare says at one point, "other times they hit the nail right on the head."

So in the end, after a few laughs and a lot of mediocre moviemaking, "Hop" finds its way to a feel-good destination.

If you're looking for a good movie destination, however, I might recommend you "Hop" on over to something else.

Content advisory:

• "Hop" contains only one profanity, an "Oh, my God."
• Outside of a couple references to "butts," the film has almost no sexuality. There is, however, a scene and a couple of jokes that take place at the Playboy mansion. Yes, that Playboy, the home, according to the movie, of the "sexy bunnies." The main character is unable to gain access to the mansion, but just the inclusion of the pornographic magazine and its logo in a children's film may turn off some audiences.
• There is some mild, cartoonish violence: slapping, kicking, tackling and so forth. There is also a crack team of military bunnies who repeatedly shoot people with tranquilizer darts through the film.
• The film has a few "butt-and-booger" jokes, including a scene about a rabbit's inability to vomit, which is played for big laughs.
• This "Easter" film has no references to the Christian religion. None. Nothing about Jesus on Easter. Not even going to church. Nada. There is, however, a possible pagan allusion. Even thousands of years before Christ, say, 4,000 years ago, some in the Middle East worshipped a goddess named Astarte. Some say this fertility goddess is the source of the egg traditions that surround Easter, the name of which is supposedly derived from Astarte. Others attribute the eggs and rabbits of Easter to a later, German goddess, Eostre. Regardless of whether Easter came from Astarte or Eostre, the Christian church attempted to "redeem" this worship by attaching its festivals to Christ's resurrection. The bunnies and eggs remained, but the meaning has largely been about Jesus for centuries. Apparently, now that we've thrown out Jesus, but not the eggs and bunnies, the concept has come full circle, as the Easter Bunny Dad in "Hop" refers to the delivering of eggs and Easter baskets as a "4,000-year tradition." Hmm.