Dr. Seuss and theater propaganda

It was Thanksgiving just last week.

"Lets go see a kid flick" I said to my daughter.

"Yes Daddy," she answered. "Let's go see one quick!"

We checked on the Web, for a movie we did seek.

But sadly, so madly, the selection was bleak.

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"Arthur Christmas, perhaps?" I contemplated.

Hmm, it says it's for kids, but PG it was rated.

It looked cartoony and colorful, no one swearing like sailors.

"But wait!" I thought suddenly, "what of the trailers?"

I stopped in my tracks, wasn't sure what to do.

I felt flummoxed, bamboozled, without even a clue.

My daughter's quite young, just a tiny tot.

So I worry about the trailers, I worry a lot.

You see, they advertise a coming movie

And the way they do this is simply not groovy.

They show the worst qualities, these trailers do.

If you saw them I'm sure you would agree with me too.

These trailers for PG films show violence and sex.

Violence and sex in these trailers is nothing new.

To the theater we headed, my daughter and I,

Where I watched each trailer, waiting to cover her eyes.

I tried to distract her with popcorn and candy,

So she wouldn't see anything disgusting or randy.

You would have to be a crazy, a quack, just plain nuts

To let your daughter see a trailer of a film that glamorizes teen sluts.

Or the latest Hollywood vivisection,

Of that I have a real objection.

When I'd had just enough and felt my blood pressure rising,

I saw on the screen something rather surprising.

"Oh good!" I exclaimed, "I can finally relax."

On the screen appeared a trailer for Dr. Seuss' "The Lorax."

You can be sure when this movie comes out in the spring

The Dr. Seuss foundation will be hearing: Cha-ching!

Too early to review it, to slam it, poo-poo it?

I simply don't care, why should I first have to view it?

It's not a movie for kids but propaganda from "Big Green."

I'll explain what I mean.

Is de-forestation still a problem outside of Brazil?

(A rhetorical question: I know the drill.)

The trailer showed a world in which all trees are gone.

Instead of making me feel sad, it just made me yawn.

There are more trees being planted now than ever before.

Those "greenies," however, would just call me a right-wing whore.

You see, poor Dr. Seuss died in 1991,

And sadly since then he has been no fun.

The Lorax he wrote in 1970 when people were littering.

These days folks are more likely to be Twittering.

Why can't movies just tell a story?

Something pleasant; nothing too gory.

Why are political views crammed down our throats?

If you ask me, that just loses votes.

And then there are kid movies that act like a leftist bully,

Including "Wall-E," "Happy Feet" and even "Ferngully"!

I know, I know, it could be worse by far.

One recent example is that film "Avatar."

They annoy me with their perspective,

Their cheery, jeery, preachy corrective.

To me it just feels like a vicious invective.

See, I am tired.

Tired I am,

Tired of being propagandized to, again and again.

Why can't they bring back a different Dr. Seuss book?

You know, that popular one about that hammy cook?

He cooks with a different-colored ham.

The name's on the tip of my tongue. What is it? Damn …

It also has an egg in there, but I'll bet

I will never remember the name of it yet.

Truthfully, the book's name isn't that vital

I just want a movie with an honest title.

Don't kids get enough propaganda?

Can't they just be entertained by a giant panda?

We got enough of this stuff from Captain Planet.

We get it! "Don't take the earth for granite!"

You have to be careful with kids' movies these days,

Can't go to a movie even on holidays.

Can I get my money back for watching this ad?

My stomach is starting to feel pretty bad.

And I admit it, I'm starting to get pretty mad,

And not just a little, more than a tad.

It really is quite irritating,

The constant message they are advocating.

I want a non-political movie now, and I'm sick of waiting!

What's next? The virtues of occupying Wall Street?

Or maybe the joys of being a tax cheat?

Not for me I say, that's no cinematic treat!

So this movie, "The Lorax," we should not attend.

There are plenty of others films I'd recommend.

For example, how about "It's A Wonderful Life"?

Or heck, even "Shrek" for my kid and my wife.

Let's teach these leftist movie producers a thing or two:

With our children's brains you simple don't screw.

So instead of that green propaganda you do

We will just stick with good old "Winnie The Pooh."

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Tom Thurlow is an attorney who practices law in the San Francisco Bay area and manages the blog napawhinecountry.com. He lives in Napa County with his wife Martina and daughter Rachel.