The N-word and the L-word

By Burt Prelutsky

There are people who will find excuses for pedophiles and for women who feel themselves entitled to having abortions five minutes before the baby is ready to pop, but will call for a lynch rope if anyone dares to pronounce the word that the N-word refers to.

We have been told time and again that the world will stop spinning if white people utter the word that’s tossed around like a Frisbee in the black community. Blacks never explain why the word that’s supposed to be the worst obscenity imaginable has such wide currency within their own ranks. Black stand-up comedian Chris Rock made his name doing a bit in which he compared blacks, whom he claimed to love, to niggers, whom he despised and ridiculed. It resonated with middle-class black audiences because it summed up their own attitudes. So why is it that whites aren’t allowed to make the same obvious distinctions without resorting to the babyish N-word?

Why are we not supposed to be able to recognize the difference between men who go to school, hold down jobs, refrain from drug use, get married and help raise their children, from the bums who do none of those things?

In addition, how does calling a friend or neighbor a nigger work as a bonding agent? Do Italians call each other dagos and wops? Do Asians call each other slopes and nips and chinks? I’m 73 years old and I’ve never heard one Jew call another Jew a kike, a Hebe or a sheeny.

One of the anomalies of modern life is provided by Hollywood. Only in the town I call home would you find thousands of the very people dedicated to the eradication of the Second Amendment devoting most of their working hours to making movies and producing TV shows that glorify men protecting their families, city, nation and planet with guns. And not just those regular guns they don’t want the rest of us to have, but humongous weapons with huge – even limitless – magazines.

Speaking of life in my town, a while ago I was invited to attend a luncheon with other former L.A. Times employees. These get-togethers are a monthly affair, but I had never attended one before. Mainly, it was because even though I wrote a weekly humor column from 1967-1978, my status was always as a freelance contributor. Therefore, I knew a few people who worked in the sections where my work appeared, but not many others. But having nothing else to do one Friday, I decided to show up at the restaurant in Pasadena.

As it turned out, I only knew one person, a now retired assistant editor, but everyone was pretty friendly. That is they were until we reached the point when, after the meal, the newbies were supposed to talk about what we had done after leaving the newspaper. When it was my turn, I mentioned some of the scripts I had written for TV and then named a few of my books: “Conservatives Are from Mars, Liberals Are from San Francisco,” “Liberals: America’s Termites,” “Barack Obama, You’re Fired!” and “67 Conservatives You Should Meet Before You Die.”

Experience more of Burt Prelutsky’s humor and wit in his books — at WND’s Superstore.

The booing was so loud and raucous, you might have thought I had claimed authorship of “Mein Kampf” and “The Protocols of Zion.” Keep in mind this was supposed to be a social gathering, not a Hillary for President pep rally.

So the next time some pinhead insists that the members of the mass media aren’t left-wing bigots, send him to me. I’ll straighten him out. With the business end of my Louisville Slugger, if necessary.

When I think about the 2012 election I realize that if Mitt Romney had received the same number of votes as John McCain did in 2008, we would have rid ourselves of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Kathleen Sebelius, Lois Lerner, the Affordable Care Act and an over-reaching EPA.

Whether millions of Republicans stayed home on Election Day because they had been bribed with food stamps or simply couldn’t bring themselves to vote for a Mormon, it is worth recalling what John Stuart Mill wrote 150 years ago: “A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions, but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury.”

Mill also observed: “The worth of a State, in the long run, is the worth of the individuals composing it.”

That’s a thought that could keep a conservative up nights.

Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times, a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine and a freelance writer for TV Guide, Modern Maturity, the New York Times and Sports Illustrated. His latest book is entitled ""Barack Obama, You're Fired! (And Don't Bother Asking for a Recommendation)." Read more of Burt Prelutsky's articles here.


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