Sorting through the rubble

By Burt Prelutsky

Even the good news these days is tainted. For instance, the Department of Homeland Security has granted the Romeikes, the German family seeking asylum, indefinite deferred status. That means they will not be deported back to their homeland, where they faced losing custody of their children because of their insistence on homeschooling the kids. The bad news is that our government took the case all the way to the Supreme Court, which wound up denying them asylum on a technicality.

What was the point? To frighten them? To prove America can be as intolerant as Germany? To show that even in the midst of the longest recession in our history and all of those pricey Obama vacations, we still have money to waste on pointless legal exercises?

Speaking of unanswered questions, I have often challenged my fellow conservatives by asking why they are so cavalier about sending their kids off to be indoctrinated by pointy-headed professors and why they continue to subscribe to left-wing newspapers, but two other questions come to mind. The first is why they continue paying dues to AARP when everyone knows that AARP was singularly responsible for foisting Obamacare on us and why, with all the insurance companies in America, conservatives continue dealing with Progressive, whose owner is a major contributor to the Democrats.

On the heels of Lois Lerner telling the House Oversight Committee where to get off, we had a teachers union telling the police that their members can’t be drug-tested even when heroin paraphernalia has been found on two occasions in the faculty bathroom of a grammar school.

Frankly, I’d like to know where I can shop for one of these stonewalls and just how much they cost. Unlike Lerner and the drug addicted teachers, I haven’t done anything illegal, but, according to Obamacare, merely being 74 years old may soon be a crime, and I’d just like to be prepared.

Recently, I watched a movie on TCM I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was “Lives of a Bengal Lancer,” starring Gary Cooper and Franchot Tone. I was reminded that there was a time – in this case 1935 – when it was OK to make movies in which it was permissible to depict Muslims as evil blackguards. I’m not saying that they’re not still doing it occasionally. Arabs and Muslims were the bad guys in “True Lies,” “Delta Force” and “Argo.” But back in the days when they were churning out the likes of “Four Feathers,” “Gunga Din” and “Bengal Lancer,” not only were the movies better, but the villains were dealt with in a far more mature fashion.

In “Bengal Lancers,” for example, on two separate occasions, when a Muslim is captured by the British and refuses to cough up information about a planned ambush, he is not only threatened with death, but is also told that his sorry carcass will then be buried wrapped in a pigskin. In no time at all, they were squealing like little piggies. No need at all to deal with that messy waterboarding that so upsets squeamish liberals and John McCain.

Recently, while Obama was addressing the goofballs involved with Organizing for America, the group whose sole purpose is to promote his agenda, Obama told them “You’re doing God’s work.” So much for those who don’t believe the ex-community organizer has a messiah complex.

Sometimes you have to wonder if Obama really cares how many Senate seats his party loses in November. I mean, why would he force Senate Democrats to vote to install cop killer mouthpiece Debo Adegbile as a high-ranking member of the Justice Department? As things turned out, not even Harry Reid could carry that much water. But that’s beside the point. As if it’s not going to be hard enough for Democrats to get re-elected in November, thanks to Obamacare, now a slew of them are going to be righteously smeared during their campaigns as being opposed to the 325,000 member Fraternal Order of Police, who had strongly urged a “No” vote on this scumbag.

Finally, I wasn’t the least bit surprised that at the recent CPAC event, Rand Paul once again ran away with the straw vote. That is easily explained by the fact that college Republicans are bused to the convention in disproportionate numbers. Although we are always talking about appealing to young Republicans, young Republicans are often appalling.

For instance, in 2012 when I attended the GOP state convention here in L.A., I happened to glance out the hotel window and saw a large number of buses and vans unloading youngsters across the street. Ten minutes later, the young vandals were running and hollering through the main corridor, tearing down the posters for Romney, Santorum and Gingrich. Naturally, they had been bused in by the Ron Paul campaign.

I’m afraid Rand has inherited not only his father’s take on foreign policy, but his adolescent supporters. It’s no mystery why Rand Paul won CPAC’s mock election, garnering 31 percent of the votes (to 11, 9 and 8 percent, respectively, for Ted Cruz, Ben Carson and Chris Christie). After all, 41 percent of those at the event voted to legalize marijuana.

I know that the GOP is always carrying on about enlarging the tent, but what’s the point if it’s going to be filled with pot smokers and pot fumes? To me, that sounds less like the Republican Party and more like a Democratic convention.

Experience more of Burt Prelutsky’s humor and wit in his books — at WND’s Superstore.

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Burt Prelutsky

Burt Prelutsky has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times, a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine and a freelance writer for TV Guide, Modern Maturity, the New York Times and Sports Illustrated. His latest book is entitled ""Barack Obama, You're Fired! (And Don't Bother Asking for a Recommendation)." Read more of Burt Prelutsky's articles here.


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