“Send the manager over,” stormed the patron in the coffee shop. “How may I help you?” asked the manager. “This is the worst vanilla ice cream I’ve ever had,” the patron complained. “That’s not vanilla,” the manager explained. “That’s butter pecan.” “Oh,” said the patron, suddenly brightening. “For butter pecan it’s great!”
And so it is in this business. Sometimes a weak column can be made more interesting merely by clarifying its identity and motive. The following screed is not an editorial. Editorials are supposed to get out there and fight. This fight is over. Neither is this an informational column. You’re unlikely to learn anything new. Nor is it the sharing of a personal adventure story, a confession of some exciting bad behavior or Grandma Marcus’ recipe for Jewish-instead-of-Polish stuffed cabbage.
This piece is a lamentation for a cause that for decades seemed impossible to lose and now, suddenly, it’s impossible to win. It’s the sad, sick story of immigration in America; what was, what happened and what we’re now sentenced to pay for: the high crime of losing control of our borders.
Once upon a time America had it right. We understood what a powerful magnet America was. It was so flattering to be part of the most-desired country on earth, but we didn’t let our national pride convert our two land borders, our two oceans and the whole sky into one gigantic “Welcome” mat. There were laws, strict laws, and very few complaints even in the “Dark Ages” (before 1965), when our entry policy absurdly favored the blond, blue-eyed peoples of Northern Europe while countries like India, with their swirling millions, were limited to one hundred immigrants per year!
Our immigrants were docile and cooperative, not out of fear but out of gratitude. They knew they were getting the best deal in the world. They realized there was no crime, no sin and no grounds for eyebrow-raising in America’s democratically decided who-and-how-many would be admitted.
I’m talking about legal immigration. There simply was no other kind important enough to smash its way into the conversation.
Let’s say you were lucky enough to get the treasured immigration visa. Let’s further suppose you passed the rigid health examinations to make sure you’d pose no medical threat to your new American countrymen. You then had to have reliable “sponsors,” Americans willing to sign guarantees that you would not in any way become a burden to American taxpayers.
Got that, folks? Instead of taxpayers’ dollars covering “entitlements” for the newcomers, each newcomer had to come up with a well-established old-timer already in America to cover any and all financial needs.
At that point, you had it made, provided you remembered to register as an alien at your nearby post office every January and learned enough about America to pass a serious citizenship test. The little matter of learning English never came up. It was considered common courtesy to learn the language of the country nice enough to allow you in. That needed no discussion or statutory reinforcement.
Some countries observe jus sanguinis, the “Law of Blood,” meaning you’re considered the same nationality as your parents. America observes jus soli, the “Law of the Soil,” meaning all children born in America become American citizens instantly. The reversal of that “anchor-baby” provision alone would do so much to relieve our illegal overload.
So, why don’t we reverse it? You idiot! You’d be painted overnight, in very bright colors, as “anti-Hispanic.” Illegal immigrants and their advocates, foreign and domestic, know of this political cowardice, and they play it like a Hardanger fiddle. That’s why they’re not docile any more. Instead of gratitude for being allowed to inhabit the most desired nation there is, pressure groups know how to rip out our political intestines if we don’t keep coming across with more, and more and more quickly. An “anti-Hispanic” is any American public figure whose knee-caps seem insufficiently liquefied by fear.
And where is “our side”? Gone! The Democrats want open borders because they believe the first duty of any high-achieving country, corporation or individual is to yield their earnings over to the less-achieving. And the Republicans want open borders for cheap labor!
And that attitude shift from “No illegals” over to “Y’all come!” has broken our system into 20 million pieces scattered all over this country, and it is – sorry, folks – driving our country down. A nation that cannot control its borders does not deserve the respect of those who cross those borders illegally.
It’s bad enough America has surrendered its immigration policy. I think we owe the world something for being on top of it. But I think we’re way more than paid up already! As they say in Spanish, “a otro perro con ese hueso,” which is free-translated as “Tell it to the Marines!” but literally means, “Take that bone to another dog!”
Move over, Third World. America is banging on your door trying to get in.
Media wishing to interview Barry Farber, please contact [email protected].
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