One thing’s for sure: You can take Mitch McConnell and John Boehner at their word. They told the American people: You put us in charge of Congress and we’ll get Congress back to work. And, by golly, they meant it! They’ve only been in session one week, but this week all Republican members of the House and Senate piled on buses for an intense, three-day, working session – at Hershey Amusement Park!
Don’t feel too sorry for them. If they get bored by lectures from Paul Ryan, they can always sign up as a “Jolly Rancher,” or a “Twizzler,” or a “Hershey’s Milk Chocolate” and escape for a ride on one of the park’s 12 roller coasters or any of the other 65 rides and attractions. Or, picture this: Ted Cruz and Louie Gohmert starting their day with a special breakfast featuring country-western music and a life-size Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or Hershey bar.
For the more pampered set, there’s always the spa at the Hotel Hershey, which features (of course) chocolate-infused treatments. Not for nothing is Hershey known as “the sweetest place on earth.” I’m sure it will be hard for Lindsey Graham to choose between the “Whipped Cocoa Bath,” the “Chocolate Sugar Scrub,” or the “Chocolate Fondue Wrap.” Although I’d suggest skipping the “Chocolate Hydrotherapy,” because it sounds too much like waterboarding. As of this writing, we cannot confirm if John Boehner signed up for the “Cocoa Facial Experience,” which lasts 75 minutes and costs $185.
Democrats, by the way, are headed for far less exotic destinations. Senate Democrats are gathered in downtown Baltimore, a model of urban revitalization. Next week, House Democrats head for Philadelphia, home of Independence Hall and the National Constitution Center.
There’s nothing wrong with congressional Republicans escaping reality for a few days, even though many American families couldn’t afford it. The problem is, they don’t live in the real world even when they’re in Washington. Just look at the issues they’ve picked to kick off the 114th Congress. It’s one thing to put Congress back to work. It’s another thing to put Congress back to work on issues people don’t care about.
Boehner and McConnell picked four losing issues to kick off the new Congress: forcing approval of the Keystone pipeline; cutting Social Security benefits; repealing the Dream Act; and weakening regulation of Wall Street. Ask a random sample of any 100 Americans. Not one of them will tell you they are the most important issues facing the American people. And each one of them is politically perilous for the Republican Party in 2016.
Let’s start with repeal of the Dream Act, a dumb move for several reasons. First, they’re wrong on moral grounds. It’s not fair to deny a path to citizenship to young people who were brought to this country illegally as infants, and have grown up as Americans, hold down jobs, attend college, or serve in the military. They should not be punished for the sins of their parents.
You also have to wonder about the political wisdom behind declaring war against the Latino community when Mitt Romney won only 27 percent of the Hispanic vote in 2012. Are Republicans just writing off the Latino vote? Do they really believe they can win the White House with white voters only? But it’s actually more complicated than that. The only way they can block the Dream Act is by cutting funds for the Department of Homeland Security. In the wake of last week’s Paris attacks, when the United States faces increased threats from al-Qaida, ISIS and al-Qaida on the Arabian Peninsula, is this really the time to be seen as the party cutting funding for national security? Only someone as out of touch as Boehner would think so.
In their first week on the job, House Republicans also voted to gut a key provision of Dodd-Frank banking regulations, putting them squarely on the side of Wall Street vs. Main Street. They blocked a routine transfer of funds to continue disability payments to Social Security recipients through 2016. And, just when we’ve achieved energy independence and don’t need any tar sands from Canada, House Republicans voted to take authority to approve the Keystone pipeline away from the president and give it to Congress.
It’s a bad way to start the new year, but I can’t worry about that for now. I have an appointment for a Chocolate Bean Polish. With Mitch McConnell.
|
