Meet the Lumbersexuals: Men who just wanna be men

Now that I've reached that comfortable stage in life where I really don't care what people think about me, I've become supremely indifferent to the various fashion trends that rise and fall. I've seen fanny packs, Izod alligators, mullets and bell-bottoms come and go. Nowadays it's stuff like skinny jeans and thick glasses as defined by hipsters.

But when my husband brought to my attention a phenomenon called "lumbersexuals," I had to investigate. I've heard of geek chic, grunge, techie nerds and metrosexuals. But lumbersexuals? What's that?

The lumbersexual, it seems, is a trend for fashion-conscious urban men. Characterized by beards, flannel shirts and rugged footwear, they are becoming common in metropolitan areas. "Across the globe, the lumbersexual is taking over cityscapes, bringing a faux survival spirit to the city," notes this article.

While the above is a fine description of the phenomena, it doesn't do a thing to explain its existence. To me, the reason men are suddenly interested in manly clothes and manly facial hair is clear: Sometimes men simply want to be men, and it's natural to adopt an appearance that reflects that. Skinny jeans and thick glasses are making way for Carhartts and Amish beards.

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Those of us living in rural areas chuckle at such trends since, of course, every male for miles around fits this "lumbersexual" description by default. Out here in the boondocks where logging, farming and ranching are still the principle ways of life, a man sticks out like a sore thumb if he isn't a "lumbersexual." But unlike metro areas, our lumbersexuals are likely to have splinters instead of paper cuts, and the "stuff" on their boots comes from the stock yard instead of the stock market.

This trend toward facial hair and a chiseled appearance – in other words, this trend for men to look like men – surprises some segments of society. "Today, the metrosexual is a disappearing breed being quickly replaced by men more concerned with existing in the outdoors, or the pseudo-outdoors, than meticulous grooming habits," notes Gear Junkie. "Seen in New York, L.A. and everywhere in between, the lumbersexual is bringing the outdoor industry's clothing and accessories into the mainstream."

"It doesn't take a lot of deep self-reflection," confesses a self-described lumbersexual in Time magazine, "to see that my lumbersexuality is, in part, a response to the easing of gender identities in society at large over the last few decades."

Yet hard on the heels of explanations about the shocking fact that sometimes men simply want to look like men, comes the inevitable apologies from the gender-diffuse for even harboring such traitorous thoughts. Gasp, the horror! Men who want to look and act like men instead of being androgynous! What will the feminists think?

"[T]he upending of gender norms frees men in mainstream culture to do things verboten by a retrograde man-code once enforced by the most insecure and doltish among us," continues Time. "We carry purses now (and call them murses, or satchels, but don't kid yourselves, fellas). We do yoga. That the ancient core workout is so associated with femininity the pop culture has invented the term 'broga' only goes to show what a sorry state masculinity is in. The lumbersexual is merely a healthier expression of the same identity crisis."

To show what a sorry state masculinity is in. Bingo.

In other words … sometimes men just wanna be men. In today's androgynous culture, such urges require fretful apologies and heartfelt psychological explanations. How sad. Or pathetic. Not sure which.

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It seems demands for societal androgyny can't last forever. Gender identities, like all natural phenomena, can only be suppressed for so long. When feminists castigated women for acting, dressing and behaving like ladies, endless women set up websites, clothing lines and blogs to assure each other that femininity is perfectly normal and acceptable.

Same with men. To those of us who are married to the real thing, it comes as no surprise when men who haven't been exposed to a lot of traditionally "masculine" activities such as hunting, fishing, woodcutting, construction, or other brawny accomplishments nonetheless have a deep-seated urge to act manly by growing facial hair and wearing flannel shirts.

I tend to blame feminism for the increasing trend toward an androgynous society (actually, I tend to blame feminists for almost everything), but it seems men can only be pushed so far in suppressing their biological roles as protectors and providers before they push back and adopt manliness once more. It's hard to deny biology, after all.

There are entire websites devoted to recapturing manly skills. Want to learn to carve an ax handle from a log? Strop a straight razor? You can learn at websites like The Art of Manliness and other similarly virile online destinations.

In a fretful attempt to explain this betrayal of androgyny, the Telegraph printed an article making a stab at quasi-scientific explanation as to why even hipsters are growing beards ("The answer … is because men are feeling under pressure from other men and are attempting to look aggressive by being more flamboyant with their whiskers. … The modern male not only has to vie with hundreds of fellow males in the real world but has to stand out from potentially thousands of rivals online, so clean-shaven may well be turning off women who are drawn to seemingly powerful men.")

This is, of course, true.

When whole legions of men dress and act more like women, any male who decided to embrace his masculine side will quickly discover he has few rivals for the majority of women who are looking for someone to share a life with, rather than hair-styling gels.

So to all the lumbersexuals out there trying to recapture your God-given natural state, my husband says: Welcome back. And if you feel the need to prove yourself, we have a host of activities on our farm to help you rediscover your inner-lumberjack. We have six 150-foot dead trees that need felling and cutting into firewood, two bull calves in need of castration, several fencing projects in the works and a whole corral full of "stuff" to clean out, which will give your manly boots that truly "authentic" look.

We'll even loan you the leather work gloves.

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