
Jackie Mason
Hillary Clinton's penchant for pantsuits is actually because all the donors to the Clinton Foundation are pants manufacturers.
And her dramatic, fact-strained description of landing in Bosnia under sniper fire in 1996 trumps any tall tale espoused by ex-NBC anchor Brian Williams, who should therefore run for president since he's more fit that Clinton.
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These are just a few of the zingers lobbed by legendary stand-up comic Jackie Mason during an interview today on "Aaron Klein Investigative Radio" broadcast on New York's AM 970 The Answer and Philadelphia's NewsTalk 990 AM.
On Hillary's pantsuits: "Almost every day she is wearing a different kind of a pants outfit. You never see her legs. Nobody knows if she has any legs. Where does she put her legs. Because her legs are always camouflaged with a different kind of a shmata that is banging to the floor. It's a different kind of a pantsuit every day."
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"You know why she only wears pantsuits?" asked Mason.
"Why?" nudged a chuckling Klein.
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"Because ... from the people who gave the money to the Foundation are all pants manufacturers. All the pants manufacturers told her that if she wears pantsuits for the rest of her life, she gets $300 million every two weeks so she can walk around with a pair of pants. If she got the money from skirt manufacturers, she would only be wearing skirts. If she got all her money from pajama manufacturers, every time you see her she would only be wearing pajamas. "
Mason tuned to Brian Williams, jesting that his exile to MSNBC is "like announcing from your own kitchen."
"You know how many people watch MSNBC? More people are watching him make an omelette in the kitchen."
"You see, Brian Williams is stupid. Instead of taking this job at MSNBC he should be running for president."
The comic said Williams' exaggerations pale in comparison to Clinton's story about sniper fire.
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Continued Mason: "Remember her sniper fire story? She landed some place and the sniper fire was all over the place. And she was ducking and hiding and running. And she was thanking God she survived all the sniper fire.
"Then they found out the whole story about sniper fire never existed. There was a little girl with flowers in her hands. Turned out that she came to a bar mitzvah. A little girl with a flower – this was the sniper fire. You mean to tell me this girl behind a flower had sniper fire in her hands? And she almost got killed by this little girl with the flower? After this whole story she winds up the honest candidate for president."
Mason slammed Clinton as the "biggest faker in the whole history of politics. And how she became such a hot candidate for president makes as much sense to me as Al Capone becoming the biggest crime fighter in America."
Referring to her as "this yenta," Mason jibed Clinton "made her whole life stealing money from everybody everywhere in the world. The fact alone that she is still a free person out of jail is unbelievable."
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He continued: "Every single day they are caught with money they never even knew they had. Imagine that every time you make money you never find out about it? How do you make all that money that you don't find out about? They send you money for nothing and somehow you didn't even ask for it, you never worked for it, you never heard about it and all the sudden it's in your pocket. You don't know how it got there."
WND reported on Williams' and Clinton's exaggeration scandals in early February.
For Williams. the unraveling began with the retelling of a story he had told countless times before. This time, he spoke at a New York Rangers hockey game, honoring a retired soldier who had provided security for grounded helicopters in 2003 when the newsman was in Iraq.
"The story actually started with a terrible moment a dozen years back during the invasion of Iraq when the helicopter we were traveling in was forced down after being hit by an RPG," Williams recalled. "Our traveling NBC News team was rescued, surrounded and kept alive by an armor mechanized platoon from the U.S. Army 3rd Infantry."
That’s not the way crew members of the 159th Aviation Regiment on board the Chinook copter hit by two rockets and small-arms fire remembered it. The anchor wasn’t on their helicopter or the other two Chinooks flying in formation with them, they told Stars & Stripes.
Indeed, the flight engineer on Williams’ helicopter, which arrived at the destination west of Baghdad an hour later and was grounded for two days due to a sandstorm, said their flight was not threatened by enemy fire at all.
"No, we never came under direct enemy fire to the aircraft," Sgt. 1st Class Joseph Miller was quoted as saying.
The eruption over stolen honor led to Williams' loss of the NBC News anchor seat.
Clinton's "Under fire" exaggeration was made during her 2008 campaign for the Democrat nomination for president.
In a speech in Washington and in several interviews Clinton claimed she and her daughter, Chelsea, ran for cover under hostile fire shortly after her plane landed.
Several news outlets disputed the claim, and a video of the trip showed Clinton walking from the plane and being greeted by a young girl in a small ceremony on the tarmac.
"I did make a mistake in talking about it, you know, the last time and recently," Clinton told reporters in Pennsylvania where she was campaigning before the state’s primary. She said she had a "different memory" about the landing.