As I was TV "channel surfing," I came upon something that left me dazed and dumbfounded. This is not possible, I exclaimed. This flies in the face of reality. An event of this magnitude surely portends the imminence of the end times. I remained ashen faced and aghast for hours. I was immobilized. My heart raced. Recovery has been agonizingly slow. And what was this event that actually slowed the rotation of the earth? I saw Bill O'Reilly with his mouth closed.